Review #7 – Universal Wrestling League – Double Show Review! (Part 1 of 2)

Name of Fed: Universal Wrestling League
Type of Fed: Independent
Name of Results: Only The Strong Survive & All Star Spectacular
Date of Show: 25th February 2011
Show Type: PPV

Link To Results: http://uwlonline07.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=supercardresults&action=display&thread=12960

So…here we are again, review #7 and a few things, as you can probably tell, have changed. First of all, I’m proud to announcewww.efedreviews.com as our main base for operations and this is the first review I have personally done on these boards but already there have been several great reviews posted by new reviewer LOH and existing reviewer Jer. I am grateful to these for the hard work they put in and am glad to see the boards coming to life even if it is a slow process.

On with the statistics. Last week as absolutely fantastic and it’s encouraging to see the wordpress site still gathering steam. Today alone (on day of posting new review), we are sat at 9 views and overall, across the two weeks, we totalled 149, with 59 of these coming in ON the day the Fast Action Grappling review was posted. Of these, Roughkut remained our most loyal base of readers, and CWC remained our second most loyal. A few came from Fast Action Grappling itself, but more came from resource sites which I am happy about.

So on with the review itself. This week is the turn of Universal Wrestling League. I’ve not heard of this promotion prior to this review which is actually a good portion of what efedreviews is all about – exposing feds that haven’t had as much exposure yet. The fed, I am assuming due to the double card, is an independent, or rising sized promotion and according to the requester of the review, once a year, holds a “double shot” PPV, doing one show on one day and another on the next.

That’s one hell of a lot of work and I hope I’m not in for a novel sized reading here. I would hate these to be spoilt by having 2 huge shows, rather it should be two smaller shows I feel with an emphasis on the actual action.

I‘m going to start with Only the Strong Survive, the first of the two shows, and I want to say this now – the name of the show itself is fantastic.

There’s no flower or hype to this show. It’s purely straight in. Actually for a Pay Per View, maybe I’ve grown to expect it but a bit of hype works well. Rather, we leap immediately into commentary then straight into a segment which almost kills the mood of the “big night atmosphere.”

The segment we kick into seems to be by a power group (Just how many of these are in efedding now anyway? There’s at LEAST 1-2 per every fed…) and actually…I’m compelled from the off. The character Stanton seems to have a southern drawl from the dialect used and actually I love to see characters with dialect, it adds to the character. That’s not an opinion, it’s a fact; it stops the character being the SAME as everyone else which is great.

Commentary is well placed in the seg, breaking up what would be heavy blocks of speech with well placed quips and one line sentences though I feel immediately the characters on commentary are a little bland and characterless. The segment itself goes on to talk about various matches throughout the two events, showing they are indeed linked, which is a great move.

As we switch to The Debonair, I feel a little less compelled by the character. In my mind, Stanton is easier to follow (see dialect) as Debonair honestly sounds like something I’ve seen over and over.

I was right with the theory of there being at least 2 power groups it would seem as another is made clear by Sharp who is…apparently heel. So let me get this straight. Main event of night two is a heel v heel…oh dear. I sense a problem. But wait. There’s ANOTHER faction. SERIOUSLY NOW let me ask this. This is the second fed I’ve seen this with. From what I’m reading, we have 3 groups. War Machine, Mainstream and 3. This causes a problem for me; That right there is 9 roster members. Pretty much ALL of them are guaranteed to be heel as you can’t have a “good” faction. So thats 9 HEEL persona’s going at one another…

WHY do feds find it a necessity to push these groups? Why do people find it SO “good” to join or create a faction or stable? If anything it hinders storyline enhancement and if current real programming is ANYTHING to go by, surely if there’s to be A group, there should JUST be one. We’ve tried multiple at any one time and NONE of the members end up getting over. Reason? The storylines get BORING…and true to efedding, the very moment we end up with more than one power group…it becomes boring.

The BEST faction storylines are when it involves ONE face character and ONE faction. Eventually friends of the face character help, the rest of the locker room get sick of seeing the selfish acts, everyone bands together and EVENTUALLY the faction is forced into ending – or the faction implodes by the end of the angle. Faction angles are only good when the faction SPLITS. Not during. So having three groups makes little to no sense. Having two heel factions makes no sense. Stick to ONE. Just the one.

So booking rant over, I can go back to the show. Finally the segment ends, and it…well is quite a long segment to say the least, one of the longest I’ve ever seen in a show like this.

Suddenly though the formatting does something I dislike. The writer decides it’s a good idea to use a post break…and posts the next match in a separate post. IMMEDIATELY this KILLS any flow. Flow is a MAJOR sticking point for me and I feel like I actually don’t know what I’m getting into. There’s NO reason for separating the posts other than bumping post counts…I don’t agree with it, I hate flow ruiners like this.

So here we go with the first match. Ryan Andrews vs Heath Savage. Commentary does a good job to begin with and short, sharp entrances are well received.

The first paragraph of action is done well. It’s a slow, methodical pacing to the introduction of the match that works well. My only feel is that I’m expecting to see a pin at the end of every paragraph and it’ll go to a two count more often than not. So early on, 2 counts aren’t good. The psychology of a match screams for a couple of easy kick outs before the action truly begins. Commentary again seems forced and generic. Yes it tells the story well but there’s limited viability if I’m not “excited” by what they say.

In the next paragraph…Savage pulls not one, but two piledrivers on his opponent. I expected the other character to be dead or have his neck broken but…no. He kicks out. Sorry but…a part of this game IS realizm. I’ve been slammed for this in other reviews…the whole “but it’s not real” argument. We do this to EMULATE real life situation, to pretend to be wrestlers…or highly paid soap opera stars, depending on what you want to call it.

It’s no surprise that the opponent actually gets in NO offence whatsoever in the match. This is for all intensive purposes a squash match and I figure it was written out to not “upset” the other RPer. Honestly, he knew he was getting a win. Don’t draw it out, give him the W and move on. All you’ve done is dragged out results here and it’s a waste of space.

NEW POST.

I felt like doing that to highlight the fact that we’re probably going onto the next segment now. Just as per the previous posts have separated, we’re likely to be on a new post.

Yes, yes we are. This post is the whole of 13 lines long and ruins the flow once again. I would MUCH rather see a segway into this from commentary but there is nothing. It’s winner of the match then seg.

So up next, after another post, is a fatal four way.

What confuses me is this; I get a LOT of people when requesting reviews, saying that their show is the end to all their rivalries and is the end of stories and they want to see how they did. This was one of those requests…yet I ACTUALLY DON’T see a story at all in EITHER match so far. Maybe I’m looking too hard but right now I’m seeing random pairings and there’s no REAL storytelling to the matches. Matches are only as good as the story they tell. Get the characters involved more, show off more of the gimmicks. Don’t just list move after move; which is what the matches ACTUALLY do in UWL. Constantly I’m reading move after move. Yes, it’s a good flow of moves and this fatal four way is NO different whatsoever. However you may well think you’re doing well by listing move after move in your roster’s move set and maybe even creating some of your own…but you’re not. There’s NOTHING new in doing this, what you NEED to look at doing (and this goes for any fed, not just UWL as I’m yet to see many do it…FAG broke the ground for me on this) is having characters be INVOLVED.

Show expression on their faces. We can’t see it so explain it.
Have heels scream at the crowd.
Have faces pander.
Get the crowd as involved.

THIS sort of stuff tells the story…otherwise all it is is a collection of moves.

As the win is gained in the four way, I find myself thinking back to a previous review. I think it was APW’s Survive and Conquer where I said about excitement. APW did it the wrong way in that they spaced everything out hugely but UWL don’t space it enough. At the end of matches, ESPECIALLY multi person matches you NEED to have commentary build it up. Simple things like between the 1 and 2…”Moxie’s got it…” then add between the 2 and the 3 someone trying to get back to break it up and commentary eating it up…it works. Seriously.

So next we have an RP…no wait. Segment. Sorry. It’s a pretty long interview section but it DOES tell the story of the main event well. This is the first I’ve really seen of anything to do with the main event…there was no preamble or hype about it in the intro so I wasn’t aware of ANYTHING to do with the match until now.

As we head into the next match there is an unholy long entrance and I start to wonder if there ARE any faces in this fed. Nonetheless, we continue and again I see a string of moves. Overall the psychology is nice in as far as the actual moves that are being done but there’s a lack of emotion felt in the match. For instance…

Chris steps through the ropes. He stands on the ring apron. Chris moves up to the top rope. He jumps off with an Asai moonsault, but Stephen moves out of the way. Chris lays on the floor, as the fans gasp in shock.

First this is found RIGHT at the end of the FIRST paragraph in the match. The match leaps from great psychology to this.

Now…we can do 2 things with this INSTANTLY to make it a bit better…

Chris steps throw the ropes, the crowd actually unsure of whether to cheer or boo. Standing on the ring apron he takes a look at the turnbuckle and smiles, before pointing towards it, riling the crowd further. 

Barry Sharpe: Where the hell is he going?

Fred Overstreet: High risk land Barry, high risk…and it could pay…

Barry Sharpe: MY GOD, WHAT A MOONSAUL…JESUS! NO! NO!

Fred Overstreet: He…HE MISSED!

So what did I do? First of all, I added crowd emotion. He’s heel, right? Well a top rope move is GOING to earn their respect regardless. So thats #1. #2, commentary. I rabbit on about it but LOOK at the emotion it added. Suddenly the match has meaning. It MATTERS that he missed. Instead…the commentators in this laugh it off almost.

Barry Sharpe: I didn’t see that coming!

Fred Overstreet: Stephen Callaway saw it!

Barry Sharpe: You can say that again!

A move like that COULD end a career. It would DEFINITELY shorten a career. You can’t get away with that sort of thing and if you want to maintain a sort of realism to the fed then ACTUALLY think about things like this.

What I do like though is the matches don’t feel overly too long. This IS a good feature of UWL, that the matches seem a fair length but not too long. I can sit through and read them but I don’t feel emotionally attached which is what KEEPS you reading. That’s the downfall.

The next segment sees a medical office with the man who got attacked earlier in the show. I wish handlers would show more emotion with their characters in segs, either that or write them themselves and not let the fedhead do it. One of the two has happened here and I don’t know which, but either way, the segment lacks emotion.

Then wait for it.

I‘ve seen in feds…people have copied and pasted things in and not edited. This, below, is a CLEAR example of this.

The drums start as Thaurer steps out the curtain, a big smile on his face. He panders to the crowd as he performs his famous ‘T’ pose (think Raven).

First of all we reference a former WWF/ECW/TNA guy. Not really good when we’re trying to describe things. Second of all…THAT actually made it into the results. The simple rewrite of this is “He THROWS his arms out wide standing perfectly still as he does so, the crowd cheering loudly.”

Again this match between Robbie Venom and Thaurer starts well but degrades quickly. First of all…this happens.

He whips Thaurer into the ropes. Thaurer hits off the ropes. Robbie grabs him, turns throwing Thaurer down with a spinebuster. 

Barry Sharpe: Robbie throws Thaurer down hard with a spinebuster.

The commentary wasn’t necessary. Why not amp up the move a bit? Make it seem MORE exciting?

This is the problem with the WHOLE show. It’s GREAT in places. A few segments shine, the STARTS to the match are great but from the starts we slip instantly. And I know, “It’s not real”, but my aim when I write results is to write them as if they ARE a real event and…sorry but this feels…thrown together.

This feels like the results weren’t worked on in places, like they were pounded together. There’s little to no flow. There’s just sections of a piece your own together show. I could take one part and move it anywhere and it wouldn’t matter. There’s no excitement, no build up…and I’m meant to believe that this is a show that culminates several feuds? Then SHOW me.

Show the readers why this is worthy of them reading further than match #1. I struggled. Truth be told, what USUALLY takes me an hour to get through, took me 3. Not because it was hard to read or badly structured (which in places it is), but rather because I went off and did OTHER things for a good two hours. I couldn’t sit and read it…and if you want honest feedback, which this is intended to be…then this is me telling the owners of UWL that as a set of results go, I felt uninspired.

During the Faction wars in 6CW…I felt a bit excited at least. During Survive and Conquer, I WANTED to read that match, it excited me. During a lot of results I WANT to read on…but with this, I’ve reached a point where I don’t know if I CAN.

But none the less, I’ll try. I will try.

So as I get further into the match between Thaurer and Robbie, I find another pet hate. Laziness.

Let me explain.

but Thaurer moves towards him, and hits him with the Guyliner (Lariat).

Seriously. JUST WRITE the move out. “Hits him with a HARD lariat, flooring him” isn’t hard to write, then follow it up with commentary, explaining the move. Again, the brackets ruin flow. I had this problem with APW and I’m having it again here. It reeks of laziness and honestly…it doesn’t take much more, yet it adds so much more to write the move out properly.

Again, as the match comes toward an end there’s little emotion. A bit more than other matches but still not much and the end of the match could use some following up. The slapped handshake could use some disgusted commentary to make it work a bit better.

I feel now like…I could say the same again in the next match between Debonair and Callaway. I won’t though. There’s no point, it would be redundant, all I will say is again, a match that lacks excitement and enthusiasm. I’m sorry if I’m lacking too here at this point but I don’t see a point in repeating myself.

As I work my way down the card, I do find less and less segments. WHY the matches aren’t linked with commentary is beyond me but I do like less segments on a “super show”. It’s always a better way to go.

Working forward, it’s main event time. Yes, I know…there’s a few matches between but honestly I felt I would skip the redundant matter, which would have been me ripping into the results some more about the same old stuff. The match does much of the same, even ending on a flip tombstone piledriver, as if it’s a NORMAL move. It may be the guys finisher but…yeah. Still. Deadly.

My issue with UWL really isn’t the actual match writing.
It’s just the raw lack of emotion. The commentary is flat. The matches are flat. It’s all a monotone and while it’s all pretty well written and while there’s a lot of time gone in…it starts to feel more like quantity over quality. The results therefore grow tiresome and already I’m worried about having to do a second part to this review as I KNOW what my feeling will be on it already.

Due to this being a 2 part review, I WON’T be scoring it as of yet. I’ll do that at the end of part 2.

So until then, please join up to the efedreviews community, post up your feelings about the review thus far and feel free to request a review from one of our talented reviewers.

Join the community at:

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Review #6 – Fast Action Grappling – Wreckers 6

Name of Fed: Fast Action Grappling
Type of Fed: Global
Name of Results: Wreckers 6
Date of Show: March 17th 2011
Show Type: Build-Up

Link to Results: http://z8.invisionfree.com/FastAction_Grappling/index.php?showtopic=202

That time again folks, it’s efedreview day! Actually it isn’t. In theory, we should be here a LOT earlier this week (a good couple of days) because there’s a lot going on in the wrestling world on Sunday. It’s just about EVERYONE’S Pay Per View, including APW’s Wrasslemania, Uprise’s Recreation and well…a million and one others. That as well as the real world wrestling having a huge weekend…there’s just no time on a Sunday anymore!

First up, site stats; Last week we had 117 people view No Brand Wrestling’s Slam! show review. A LOT of these views came from No Brand Wrestling, Roughkut was also a huge referrer as was CWC. Activity from Kapow died down a lot with only about 12 views from Kapow in total. Disappointing but not the end of the world. We are now at over 700 total views. If you’re interested in subscribing, please sign up for wordpress and subscribe. It will help you see the reviews before anyone else.

Okay…so now that that’s out of the way with, we can begin.

One of the guys that I respect the most out of everyone requested this one. Actually I’m pretty surprised, it goes to show that efedreviews is taking off and to be noticed by CWC’s own T-Bone means a lot. We have now got rumours and rumblings about expanding operations, but more on that at another time.

FAG…is the greatest fed name on the face of the planet, more because it’s a deliberate slur. Aside from that though, let’s get on with the review itself.

This is because FAG is designed to be a “comedy” fed. The comedy aspect is a very unique one found in ewrestling and one I applaud. A lot of promotions take themselves very seriously but FAG…well doesn’t.

We kick off with commentary from the off. And it’s not the usual “Hello and welcome”, it’s more of a comedy fest about a janitor being shown doing set up. It then does kick off into proper commentary but it doesn’t go on. It’s incredibly light hearted and this I like a lot. But…well…the next bit I’m unclear on. There is an “ad break” what seems to be about 30 seconds in. Clearly this is a rip on a certain company promoted by Spike TV who have to have an ad break every 20 seconds in order to pay for all their stars. The advert makes little sense though as it’s just a demotivational picture but yet it’s pretty funny. I wish there was a segway into the advert at least from commentary though just to preserve flow.

The first match is clearly a squash to put over Tera Bull. Actually for a squash, yeah it’s quick but it’s pretty well written and followed up by a perfect attempted “That’s what she said” line. Follow this up with a line about spiderman (Carnage references and genuine excitement), and…odd narration. It actually threw me in a huge way…

Big Stonehenge: It looks like we may need to find some better competition for Ms. Bull with how quickly she took out G Clef tonight.

Sexy Jack: Hopefully we don’t end up having to put her against a dude am I right?

No Sexy Jack. You aren’t. By the way, one of you should check your texts. Important stuff is going down and neither of you is reporting on it.

Big Stonehenge: You are supposed to tell us!

Well someone just jumped a couple of the dudes from the next match. Its carnage.

Sexy Jack: CARNAGE IS IN FA-

Not the symbiote. The desrcritptive word carnage. It looks like Rockett Man and Henry Sutton are both sodomized and left for dead in this locker room. The amount of depraved…

Honestly it threw me completely. Especially when the commentators…react off of it. Seriously weird. Throw in a comment about Sodomy and we have ourselves a winner of a segment.

There’s another random and HUGE demotivational advert. You know I don’t mind this actually but SCALE IT DOWN. Not joking. Seriously, it dominates.

There’s a lot of inside internet jokes in this show. Flying Spaghetti monster makes a return to good form and as the next match starts the commentary does well with giving info but also joking. There’s almost an element of comic book styling throughout the match as the word BAM! is used several times, giving us a feel of impact but also not too much seriousness, yet the action inside the matches is actually pretty decent.

There’s a bit of a grammatical error in one of the commentary lines, “Jek picks up a win against the heaviest people I’ve ever seen”, but aside from that…I can’t really pick too much fault.

You ever had that feeling where you HONESTLY can’t say much about something because there’s nothing bad to say? Well as a critic here speaking, I feel like that…but I’ll carry on and try anyway.

Jek vs Jerre Smother doesn’t feel like a balanced match. It feels dominant throughout towards Jek, and I would have liked to have seen a bit more back and forth if I’m honest but the actual match itself wasn’t horrible. The following segment is a little confusing but a great way of getting some cheap heel heat to someone known as the DMV…something that is clearly hated anyway. He picks on Jek and attacks him after the match, claiming a quick win via a Dragon Sleeper.

Honestly actually it works pretty well and I can see a feud coming from this which is what these shows are meant to do. It’s also pretty damned clear that the emphasis is not on “long drawn out” matches but rather on the fun had while writing and reading them which is important, possibly more so than having things drawn out in a long winded fashion. I like long matches as much as the next guy but I would rather have fun reading the results.

There’s a sneaky link to Roughkut hidden away in the next advert. The next advert which I actually became a fan of instantly. Again, the image is a bit big, just try using some HTML coding in there to cut it down a slight. It feels dominating and unneeded. Smaller adverts are fine, but also the flow is disrupted again by a lack of a segway. We almost seem to be “plonking in” adverts for the sake of finding a funny or “hot” image and hoping it’ll keep peoples attention. Actually it does work, but just a commentary segway would do well here.

The following match…is just bizarre but actually really funny. The Frankman gets disqualified for shooting MIND BULLETS!! Yes you heard right. See, this is actually what FAG does really well at. Making stuff up that pretty much makes no sense, but when you’ve gotten used to the wrestling shows that show this sort of thing regularly, or that show things like men playing tic-tac-toe on each others chests instead of actually wrestling. Yeah, it happens, it’s out there. And I love it.

I‘m ultimately confused with the showing of Charlie Sheen in the show next though. While funny, I think it’s one thing to play a real life character in a made up fed. Yet this is a great way of playing off of current fads and works well. The line of “white coco sugar” is brilliant too and actually the segment DID make me laugh.

Wait, WHAT’S THIS?! A NEW CHALLE…no wait. No new challenger. Damn, Ryu is still unbeatable but there IS a segway from segment into advert! WOO!

What I love about these results is the anti-drama. In many results (my own included), I go for a big finish but actually the finishes in these results are ridiculous and the segments between and the commentary is equally, if not more so. The fleeing due to a lack of pot section is great.

Another thing I like is that there isn’t an over-abundance of entrances. Entrances sometimes are huge, incredibly long and unneeded. Here it’s literally “someone comes out as music plays, they strike their pose either in the ring or outside then slide into the ring/wait for their opponent.” They’re not ever much longer than 2 lines and that is great, it means we get on with stuff instead of delaying it.

HOWEVER you CAN tell a new writer wrote the following match and minimal info was given. Probably that Stonehenge had left the match or something, but not much more as it goes from Sexy Jack saying “Guess I’m going solo” to saying “This is going to be an interesting match. Maybe. Stonehenge? Where’d you go buddy??” This infers that he didn’t realize Stonehenge had gone but…he already knew that much so really…it sorta doesn’t work.

But then I mark out. In a big way. DANCE OFF TIME! If you know ANYTHING about “fun” wrestling, you know a dance off has to happen and that it must happen between a stupid character, someone who is primarily designed for fun and a serious character who is most definitely very heel.

The ending is a bit confused and rushed. I’d of liked to have seen SOME match in there, possibly like a clothesline from one of the characters that could lead potentially into a bit of a heel altercation, face comeback then a combined win like what was presented.

I like the little silly health warning also. It takes the place of an advert again it DOES break the flow but it does also make me smile.

It’s main event time already! Yes, already. See what FAG does is it does shortened summarized matches that are FUN to read. It doesn’t pound out a million and one words, and it breaks the cycle of feds that feel they have to write more and more every single show. It also makes for a pretty short review as there IS less to talk about but I’m thankful for that; I would rather write a couple of thousand words than write six to seven thousand and have readers actually read. Much the same as FAG operates, so I appreciate that.

VWF gets name dropped a little before we begin, and before long we hit another commercial break. I get the feeling someone was watching a show set out of Orlando here as every few seconds there’s an ad break then a slur against it. The match again is short, nothing overly special but funny and plays to the characters well.

Overall: I REALLY enjoyed reading FAG’s results. For the first time in a while I’ve felt like they’ve not dragged on and I’ve REALLY wanted to read on. FAG has really impressed me and yes, there have been a few issues. There are a few grammatical slurs and the flow breaks quite often which is a let down but honestly speaking if you are looking for a fed with good, FUN results…this IS the fed for you, no doubt about it.

A well deserved 4 out of 5 stars!

Review #5 – No Brand Wrestling – SLAM!

Name of Fed: No Brand Wrestling
Type of Fed: Independent?
Name of Results: Slam!
Date of Show: ???
Show Type: Build-Up

Link to Results: http://thenbw.com/2010/events/slam/slam12.shtml

Wow, review number five. This is sort of a breaking point for us now, we’re 9 weeks in, we’ve hit our fifth review, and we have review requests coming out of our ears, so first, before getting on with this I HONESTLY want to thank everyone for making EfedReviews a huge success. Everywhere I go, I hear good things…well…sort of.

With this website, there IS an element…a chance that I will rate something badly. From there, it all goes down hill…I end up with comments slating me, I end up with negativity seeping out through all the cracks…but I stand by what I have said. After all, one or two disgruntled readers are ALWAYS going to happen.

So my first aim with this blog is to basically restate something that I need to make perfectly clear. This is subjective. It is my view. If you don’t like it, you can make a choice; change what you’re doing to make it more readable to those outside of the fed (AND bring in more members notably, as good results will bring in good members or…you can ignore it. Slamming me for it won’t change my mind, it’ll only make me more determined to not touch your fed again…

So with that out of the way (I hate having to do that!), it’s time for the site stats as of 20th March 2011.

WOW is all I can say initially. Just wow. March 8th, I posted the NEW review and Jer posted the Maggie Mayhem review. On March 8th, we had a new record of readers; 116 readers on ONE DAY! Of those, 18 from Kapow, 13 from Roughkut, 13 from NEW and 12 from CWC. Thank you all for reading on the day of publishing, you’re proving that the die hard efedders of us that are left…are larger in number than expected. I’m proud of EFR for managing to draw in so many people on one day.

Over the course of the 2 weeks, we actually had 201 readers. That’s an increase of 50 readers over the course of the week…perhaps Bischoff was right…controversy creates cash, right? This has increased our total views to 586 at time of writing. That’s a phenominal view rate, giving us an average of 120 viewers per results review. So again, I want to say thank you for giving me something to get a little egotistical about.

Right, now it’s review time. I want to thank Cedrone for giving me the chance to review nBW Slam and I just want to highlight how this ACTUALLY works in case some of you are wondering. When I write a review, I write as I go. That gives me the chance to say what I feel and ultimately what I think at time of reading.

When I received the email asking for the review, I felt a need to check Roughkut. The email read this;

Why I think this Fed should be reveiwed is because roleplaying feds are more known around the e-wrestling forums. Seeing that No Brand Wrestling is one of the few angle based feds left. I wanted to know how it’s doing from a outsider point of veiw.

He’s right. There aren’t many left but then…I actually have to ask the question; what is an angle based fed? Well truth is, it’s a fed that only ever bases its results off of “what the booker thinks”, so the storylines SHOULD be stronger and easier to manage. Every single fed out there has an element of this, every fed will pre-book a match every now and again and thus will make the fed slightly angled, but an angle based fed ONLY EVER does this.

With that out of the way, it’s time to get on with the show. First of all is the layout. nBW’s Slam! results look very professional on the website they have. As a side note, on the website…I had a snoop around and there are a lot of incomplete pages and dead links. You may want to get that sorted, especially the “fan forum” link which creates an issue for anyone to be able to see what sort of a community you have going on etc.

As we start the results, there is a video. It looks neatly edited and there are posers on there from video games as opposed to real wrestling clips. You can see a lot of effort has gone in, It’s purely entrances that have been filmed by the seems of things and the video isn’t overwhelming. 33 seconds is great for an intro, especially as in real results, an intro sequence would be no longer than a minute maximum.

The results seem to be coming from a made up arena, (Epic II arena in St Louis..I googled it, found nothing but results from the fed) and is presented on Hulu.com not on television. Therefore I assume this is an indy fed, however, I see NOTHING to do with a date on the results so had to assume these are a) the most recent results, b) are relatively recent…but I had no actual date to work with.

Before we go on with content, I like the choices of “viewing”. It lets you read the whole thing, or in quarterly intervals. My only issue with this is that the results appear to be HUGE through this, and I worry immediately I’m getting myself ready for a war rather than a battle. This however DOES give a good illusion of how it would actually work on HuLu so that’s a nice touch in the end.

On with the content. First up…EVERYTHING is divided. Any existing readers will know how much of a bug bear this is for me and how much I feel it interrupts the most important aspect of the show; Flow. We start with a “previously”…which then goes into a REALLY random fact about wrestling. While I love knowing what Hogan did previously to him becoming Hogan, I would prefer it be a genuine recap of the last Slam! or something. My personal belief is to avoid trademarks, copyrited characters or likeness’s, we need to avoid using real info about proper promotions. I hate seeing it in promotions and frown upon it.

In the divisions between the segments etc, we have pictures of what seem to be cartoon posers in each division. I like this, I’d like it even more if these were Alt Tagged. Just so that when we hover over the images we can see the characters names…it makes sense. The results are all in past tense. Weirdly, I’m not a fan of this but I can see why it’s done. Personally I prefer a present tense but past tense is doable.

The first segment is quite nice and clean. It’s a faction, 4CW (also the name of another fed?!) coming out to announce a contract violation in the last show. Good continuity as I would expect from an angled fed. There’s not anything to pick fault with here other than the continuity breaks as we go into the next segment.

The next segment is the promoter, Boyle. It follows on directly from the segment previous, with him saying the titles will not be on the line. Again, not much to pick apart here, other than I’m now beginning to have issues reading this. Not because my glasses are steaming up, but rather speech is in present tense. I know it would have to be as its what they were saying at the current time but the issue is then; speech hits present tense, actions are in past and we get a major mismatch of styles and tenses.

So now it’s time for match one. Again, past tense here. There’s no commentary in the show but there is speech in the match that is audible from the wrestlers themselves. This is a nice touch but it does mean we lose out on that all too valuable commentary.

The first thing I notice is that these results have personality. Yes, results with personality; it happens. The feel is NOT that this is  a show in progress but rather someone recapping the results to someone else as if they’re trying to tell the other person what a great or bad night they had at nBW’s show. Things like this;

While he was a pretty BIG guy (I mean he’s fat, kay?)

Show quirkiness and keep me chuckling throughout parts of the first match while enough information is conveyed throughout the match to actually keep me entertained. There’s a random coding issue in the first match, the font suddenly changes, but it’s nothing huge.

I actually get a sense that the writer ENJOYS writing these results. It’s rare; I write results myself for a promotion I run and honestly it can feel time consuming. Cedrone here though seems to really enjoy what he’s writing as he puts in pop culture references and relates to what the reader knows. There’s a sense of fun and enjoyment coming from the results which actually makes the results fun to read.

He also does exactly what I expect with signature and finishing moves. Despite there being a clear HTML mark-up error there, he describes the move first then goes onto name it. This is a great move on his part, I love matches that do this as I actually then KNOW what I’m looking at.

Come the end of the match, I find myself laughing at the Rage Against The Machine reference.

LIGHTS OUT.

Guerilla Radio.

Ah, just kidding.

This is exactly what I mean by the writer seems to have a lot of fun with the results. We see during the small closing segment to the match the introduction of a new group or faction named The Night Life.

Following segment sees 4CW (Clearly the power group of nBW) with Spike. My only issue here is the lack of flow between segments and matches. I begin to feel now that things are just thrown together, it’s segment, match, segment, segment, match, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all only there’s no flow at all to the show. It just leaps from moment to moment in a hope to get a show out but it ignores a proper show format which involves a huge amount of flow. Flow is a huge part of a show and perhaps commentary would help with this. The huge yellow and black bands separating each segment definitely don’t help though. This segment is nice, doesn’t drag on too much and leaves a nice hook at the end. Shame is, I don’t feel compelled to find out about the hook so much purely based off the fact that past tense doesn’t really give much desire to read on. I find results better in “real time”, but again, that’s just me.

We then come into another segment. The champion makes his presence with the “upper echelon”. That word is brilliant, ‘echelon’, but I digress…this is starting to feel a) segnent heavy, b) faction heavy. The problem with a fed with lots of people; everyone wants to create a faction but no-one wants to be a part of a tag team I guess. This is pretty much a straight, does what it says on the tin – in ring promo. Nothing special really…

We skip into another segment. Another in-ring segment. CONTINUITY IS KEY! I say that randomly because do you see what I mean? I skipped to it, it makes no sense. It grabs your attention but it doesn’t make sense and continuity is therefore ruined…yes, you can get it back like I did there, but nBW’s results for SLAM! don’t seem to at all. They skip horribly. Not only that but segment 3 in this is…another in ring promo. WHY 2 in ring promos, one after another? That just feels…a bit…iffy to me, feels even less flowing.

Alexander Benson’s segment actually does bring a bit of life to it however…I do hate American Cliche English Accent gimmicks. It’s been done to death and the accents never seem right. Entertaining? Maybe. But definitely not right. Coming from an Englishman, if I had a pound for EVERY time I had seen an English native speaking in a false cockney accent, being the bad guy on TV and in efed results…by jingo I would be a millionaire!

YAY! Continuity is here at last! As we go from this segment, Alexander Benson IMMEDIATELY faces a man that’s in the ring already, Kirk Butler. Woah wait, I read things wrong, my mistake. Mr laaaaandaaaan (London, AKA Alexander Benson) is ACTUALLY a good guy despite being English. He’s being cheered…and I’m cheering this match. Yes, I’m enjoying it. I love the fact that there is a heavy emphasis on the moves but I do feel like there is a lack a break which means that there are heavy lumps of “action”.

It’s quite clear to me that whoever has been handling the character of Benson has been watching clips of Desmond Wolfe (please excuse the horrible reference to real wrestling but it is the only way I can think of comparing it to something familiar). The British accent (overplayed) comes in a lot but one part of the match DOES make me laugh quite a bit…

POW!

And sent him back down to the canvas with a fierce uppercut! “Twat!” Benson added on.

Honestly speaking now, that’s not my love for results but my love for Batman fused with a love for swear words such as “Twat”.

I do feel though that enough emphasis was NOT put onto the end of this match. Truth is, I didn’t even know either man was out of the ring (shows how much I REALLY read, I’m sure it was in there but the blocks of text are really heavy) and then from nowhere there’s a ring out. Having the referee call out the numbers is a real easy way of sorting out this problem and builds excitement.

I also feel like the writing, while unique and fun, drifts off a lot into its own world. In short, the results for nBW are…well like a ten year old with ADD and Tourettes. In 3 short phrases, the results for nBW are funny to begin with; they then grow tiresome and old and finally they are easily distractable from the main focus. It sort of feels like if the invisible narrator saw a blue car, he would go from talking about the matches at hand to going “oooh and look a blue car” before heading back to the results.

Segment upcoming in part 2 of the show and being honest…this is short, sweet and simple. It’s a call out. Not much to say about this really. We go straight into another segment and this time the flow is broken completely. Just something as simple as formatting a segment differently can definitely ruin flow, and I don’t need to read things like “Opening scene”, I know what the opening to a scene is.

WOAH WAIT A SECOND…

COMMENTATORS EXIST?! So on their staff role somewhere they have commentators. Yet they refuse to use them in matches…how weird?!

There’s a third segment now. Remember what I said about continuity? There’s a fantastic saying that goes along with this; Don’t throw chickens in glass eggs. No wait. That’s not right. Not even the right sayings at all. I mean too many stones spoil the glass houses. Or is it something to do with soups and chefs? I have no idea. Anyway, it’s a good saying and it applies. There are too many segments here, it’s too loaded and while the segments are short, they feel like filler. They don’t feel NEEDED and if they are needed to help out angles, there’s not much call for three in a row. I feel like this is REALLY over done.

There’s another promo just before the next match. Honestly, I feel like these results now are getting a bit padded out with segments. Even where a match is advertised, there’s a segment and it’s drawing the show on beyond belief. This segment changes the match into a no disqualification match.

I like how in this match, you can see its a power match. There’s no technicality to it, it’s just straight out brutality. There’s a lot of use of onomatopoeia in the match, words like crash, smash, wallop come in a lot and that’s good. I like seeing things like this, especially in a no dq match.

I‘ve finally worked out, by the end of the match why past tense doesn’t work for me. It’s anticlimactic. I feel like we spend what would be in real life, a good fifteen minutes on something that feels dampened by the end. The end feels ineffectual and I actually feel disappointed by the cheap finish. With commentary, with a present tense, that becomes exciting to read. It becomes something different entirely. It becomes…climactic and interesting. Here I feel myself disappointed more than anything.

The next segment loses its appeal. First of all this should not be separated from the match, rather, it should be an annex. It’s a beatdown, not a whole new section and secondly, I feel like…well there again is no excitement to it. The ending of the segment says it all; Just another day in nBW. It feels average, standard, and I feel no connection.

Rule 1 of a beat down. It is there to put over a face and a set of heels…so the face should…well be empathized with. I don’t even feel anything when somehow he makes a comeback . I feel no excitement and actually…I feel that this IS an angled fed from this segment alone. The only reasoning for this being, it FEELS SCRIPTED. Whether you’re an angle fed or RP fed, you don’t want it to feel scripted, you want it to feel live like honestly ANYTHING could happen.

I feel like there’s too much description. YES, TOO MUCH. Again, it’s the thing about too many stones ruining the soup. If you try to pack in too much, you start to lose a sense of where you are. Results are about balance and it’s difficult to do so. Very difficult. The next segment shows that description…yes, it’s good, but I feel like I’m READING a novel, not WATCHING a televised programme.

Even then, that’s not good. When I read a novel, I want my imagination to take over. I feel the same with results, I want my imagination to control me a bit, but I’m being told everything here. I’m surprised there aren’t pretty little flash pop-ups that tell me to cheer or boo or feel upset. I’m being told everything and I have no surprise left to me. I can tell exactly what is going to happen, and the “open challenge” segment actually shows me a LOT about the show.

Again, there’s a massive three segments prior to this match. Note to writer; Please put a cap on segments. That way you can work out the flow better and it doesn’t feel like you’ve stuck 3 random pieces together. One of the best ways to do this is to post a “production sheet”, have people sign up and then when all slots are filled, close it up. Sounds silly but I feel like this show is doing too much and is suffering from “I must outdo the last show syndrome”, a syndrome which affects just about every fed. They feel every set of results has to be better than the last and often it fails.

I‘m glad for the third segment being short and simple, it means we can get on with match 4. JudasBleek vs. Chris Wilson. I can tell here immediately there is a different writer to this match than the previous few. I can see a notable difference in the pin styles as well as the general writing style. Remember what I said about continuity. I’ve had match writers write in different styles to me before, the key is, PROOF READING. Read everything when its all put together. Amend it. Read it again. Make sure it all fits the general style, then shoot the writer a PM/Email, just explaining the changes and why they’ve been made. The key to flow and a good set of results, I feel, is continuity, keeping things the same throughout. Not doing that breaks the flow and ruins the general feel of the match.

Hang on, wait?! There’s commentary in this match. Can you understand my confusion as I read 3 matches with no commentary, just moments from the roster, then suddenly commentary DOES exist and they’re calling matches? ALSO this match is in present tense. I did this last review. I ripped into the writers a bit for chopping and changing flow; this time it’s JUST a case of proof reading. Was this match read before it went into the show? Did you realize at all that perhaps…well…it didn’t flow, so you changed it up to make it flow? I don’t think that happened, I think it was thrown together.

I would rather risk results being late and have everything dead on and perfect than have them rushed out and sloppy. The action in general in this match is good, I like what has been done by making Wilson the lighter man and thus giving him a reason to constantly go high risk to keep Judas down. The only issue I do have is the lack of a fit to the show; and that’s a pretty big issue.

This match is REALLY long in comparison to the others. I find myself scrolling a lot and truthfully, it isn’t needed. There’s a lot going on and all that is really needed in a match is a VERY simple formula…something that can be done in about 3-4 pages on word, which would be almost half of what this is. Here is that formula;

Start
Heel/Face Control
Role Reversal
Full Heel Control
Face Hopespot
Heel comeback/win
Face Highspot/Win.

It really is THAT simple. The only bit of that that’s lengthy is actually the start, because that’s where the back and forth happens.  The rest is simple little bits. Believe it or not, that’s not even in summarized recaps, that can be the full length of a match. No match I’ve written in the past few months have been over 6 pages in total. Yet I’ve been nothing but praised for them; hence they don’t go on, they just keep things simple.

Going through this match, there is a LARGE temptation to do what every person in this fed would have done; Skim read. I’ve read fully though and I CAN say there is a lot of good action in the match, there’s some decent psychology and there’s frequent commentary that tells the story well. I actually believe that this match would look IN PLACE anywhere but this set of results and with a bit of shortening, could be an absolutely fantastic, five star match.

There’s a lot of hope spots, a lot of heel come backs, the back and forth goes on for so long and as we go on we get thicker blocks of action and less commentary. Funnily enough, the other way around works better. The further you get through, you should try shorter blocks of action. It builds suspense into those smaller, concentrated areas. Perfect for getting the big spot in place.

Funny, as I say that, the action blocks DO get shorter. Must be coming to the end, I think to myself as I read this match still. This is one long match, epic in proportions. In match length, this would be probably about…40 minutes long, it’s just constant and almost never ending.

Finally we get a submission in the match and I’m almost surprised…the match almost takes up half of the results so far and I feel again like after that, it was nothing but anticlimactic. I just want to say this now; close scoring RP’s do NOT have to equal long matches. The matches just have to have a bit more back and forth than normal.

It’s segment time again! Only two short ones this time. The first one is a well written “revenge” styled RP, again in present tense. Proof reading went out of the window after the last match and we’ve switched back to a style I’m used to. The segment following is PURELY a promo. No description at all. So where is the promo cut from? Who else is in the scene?

Too many cooks right? Well too few can stop it from being cooked at all.

The next match…is sort of a match. This is the FIRST time I’ve ever seen a UFC cage lowered in a wrestling environment in any fed, ever. The match is very short, almost recapped. We go straight from this back into a wrestling setting, a locker room promo segment. It’s weird but this is what I more expect in results; A bit of description and script style talking. The segment is short and sweet, with JudasBleek talking to someone mysterious. We all like a bit of mystery, I like the hook of who it could possibly be.

The next segment is a talk with an up and coming star and the general manager. Honestly I feel like this could have been done in the start of an RP, but nonetheless, it’s here. It’s a neat segment, a little on the long side, but neat none the less. We ARE back to past tense here though and I find myself losing the flow that was previously built in the past good while of reading now.

I‘m unclear about the next segment. Comedy characters (I think he’s meant to be) often don’t work as they’re not funny. This guy…is unfunny. To be honest, I maybe just don’t get the gimmick but the seg does not a lot for me. That’s on a personal level, I’m sure though it sets up a match for future reference and it’s done to help continue on a feud, so good work with that.

So we’ve made it this far, and it’s time for more tag action as D-T faces Tremoid and Kahn from 4CW.

We have a heavy commentary base in this, actually showing the writers are diverse as they pull off past tense along with it. We have two extras on commentary also which adds a lot to the commentary. It’s needed as there isn’t actually much action in this match. The match is also pretty short, which I’m not complaining about. The psychology is pretty there and it’s a well executed match.

We’re back to story telling in the next segment. It’s the upper uber-cool-word Echelon again, talking about the main event of the evening. This is followed by a short segment by D-T. This in my estimation is the third stable group within this fed. How many are needed, honestly? One usually for a good fed. Three is overkill in my mind.

Talking of stables, the Upper Echelon are back…again?! This time, it’s for an addition to the group. JudasBleek…actually this is a pretty good segment. It’s a beat down and unlike the one earlier on Spike, I feel more sorry for him. Poor Spike. 2 beat downs in one night, he might want to talk to management…he’s getting a raw deal somewhere.

Next match now and boy am I happy. Most won’t know this about me but I LOVE tag team wrestling. This show has not 1 but 3 tag matches, and this is a BIG tag match. Tag matches for me hold a special place in my heart and I will always love them. I love the emphasis that is put on tag matches in this nBW, and a shot for the Dynasty Tag Titles are up on the line. I find out next that this is a four corners tag match. Even better, this means the match shouldn’t ever get clustered.

I don’t expect great technical chemistry in this match as I do know that with so many contenders it can be difficult, but I’m pleasantly surprised. The sections of action are kept short so it’s very readable, and the action itself is very solid. It’s quite a short match (surprisingly, I was expecting something a lot longer based on the novella of a singles match earlier), and its quite refreshing. The match does the job, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

There’s a quick segment, an update regarding Spike who got attacked previously, before we have the main event, ANOTHER tag match! This time it’s not really a proper tag match, rather a random pairing to help set storylines up and continue any existing angles on. It’s time for the world champ, Vince Jacobs and the Son of Malta to face Ravage and Shawn Jessica Hart.

Again we’re back to heavy blocks of thick, intense action. Almost immediately there’s a huge span of heel control. As a finishing move named Starburst is hit later on in the match, I have to wonder exactly what the move is. All the info we get is this;

Ravage hooked Vince and drove him down to the mat with a DDT. The former champion was still a little wobbly from the earlier abuse as he headed into the wrong corner. Ravage finally realized where he was heading and made the right path to his corner. However Vince was up to his feet and nailed Ravage with a clothesline. Jacobs quickly picked Ravage back up to his feet and hooked him in a front chancery. Jacobs drove Ravage into the mat with a Starburst. Jacobs rolled over for a pin.

There’s no info at all about what the Starburst is, and that does irk me slightly.

In the next section of the match, there’s a hell of a lot of near falls. I like this in matches, it shows there is a presence of this actually being a wrestling match. You see a lot of near falls in wrestling so it’s only right you see a lot in ewrestling. This is done well and actually I like this match a lot though I feel it is missing commentary as per the first couple of matches.

The ending of the match does see Vince Jacobs go over in a huge way, hitting his finisher twice before making the pin. It’s a good thing he’s a double champ, after all, he did really take control.

Overall: Honestly I feel this show is slightly bipolar. One minute it wants to be present tense, the next it’s past. One minute commentators exist, the next they don’t. One minute there is a lot of action and description, the next there’s virtually none. The consistency is not there and the results feel REALLY long despite this being a normal show (I think). There’s little flow between segments but yet the matches themselves are solidly written and you get a sense that a lot of time went into it.

Score: 3 and a half stars

RP Review #1 – Maggie Mayhem by JTP

Before I post in this review, I just want to thank JTP for doing this. If you don’t know him already, Jeremiah T Pain/Jeremiah Belmont/Katherine Strife is a long standing roleplayer within eWrestling. He also has been known to genuinely help newer members in the game by aiding them in their roleplaying.

He today joins the team as a roleplay reviewer.

Welcome to the efedreviews team JTP.

So here it is, roleplay review #1…

Character Name: Maggie Mayhem
RP Title: Warzone I
Fed Represented: Uprise Pro Wrestling
Link to RP: http://thisisupw.byethost6.com/Forums/index.php?topic=73.msg360#msg360

Welcome one and all to my first rp review for Ant’s little site he has up and running. For those of you who do not know me, the name is JTP on the Kapow boards or Jer anywhere else. I have been in this game for way too long for my own good and thus I feel I am inclined to know what is a great rp all the way to what is to be blunt here… a shit rp.

Now I am doing this not for my own ego but because I want to help support Ant and his review series, so while he will be doing the shows your feds put up… yours truly here shall be doing the rp work. So after this first review if there is someone you feel should have their rp looked at and reviewed by me, then feel free to do send me a link to their latest work.

So now that we got that our of the way, let me tell you that I am a very very blunt reviewer and I will not be nice or sugar coat, if I think you did something wrong I will pull you up on it. If I think you did something great, I will say as such. If you cannot take that, then do not bother asking me to review your rp because I will not hold your hand and go you are the best ever.

Who was our first lucky contestant for the rp review series? It comes from the UPW and I am pleased to say that my first rper I am reviewing is…

Maggie Mayhem

So congrats on that and let us get on with the review!

Oh… before we do that, I might want to say how I do this… I am going to be doing a good, bad, and ugly for each review, where I highlight the good parts, the bad parts, and if any the straight up ugly parts of the rp in review. Now if there are no bad parts then good job… but do not expect this every review as we all make mistakes, myself included.

::The Good::

The first thing I noticed when I clicked the link for this rp and saw everything load up was… selling. God I love selling in rps and what I mean by selling is that you make mention of anything that affects your character, whether it’s something trivial to something severe like the beatdown that happened to one Maggie Mayhem at the end of the last UPW show. Now let me be clear here, I have not read a UPW show just yet but after reading this rp, I’m sad I did not even though the rper allowed me to see what I missed.

Another thing I liked about this piece of work is the cadance that a lot of rpers seem to forget exists in this world. What I mean by that is that the characters sound different, they act different… they are NOT clones of one another and Maggie shows this first hand with her use of Sam and herself. Well done there and I hope you can keep that up.

Then we end the good section with showing that Maggie has her own issues and I love characters that have issues, whether it’s something simple as being OCD or something massive as being a mute. If your character has an issue and you sell that issue each and every rp, you are doing your job correctly. The issue I noticed here and I might be wrong, but I feel that Maggie wants Sam’s affections and she is jealous of her manager for having been with him. If that is the case, I want to read more and want to see the final outcome.

::The Bad::

Not really a major thing and this is why it’s in the bad section, but  I really was not a fan of the breaking up the blog portion with her thoughts and actions. It just had me lose the flow when it did it but I quickly got it back, so not really a big deal but something to look out for..

::The Ugly::

Nothing in this rp was ugly, so good job.

::The Wrap Up::

All in all I really liked this rp and in one rp Maggie has earned a new fan in me and I want to read more and more from her. So I must thank Ant for letting me read her rp.

This concludes my first review and I cannot wait to see who I will be asked to review next, if you want me to review an rp from someone or even yourself, just leave me a link via a pm on Kapow or you can have Ant get me the rp as well.

Review #4 – New Edge Wrestling – World War X (28th Feb 2011)

Name of Fed: New Edge Wrestling (NEW)
Type of Fed: Global
Name of Results: World War X
Date of Show: 28th Feb 2011
Show Type: PPV

Link To Results: http://newedgewrestling.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ppv&action=display&thread=4524 – Part 1
http://newedgewrestling.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ppv&action=display&thread=4525 – Part 2
http://newedgewrestling.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ppv&action=display&thread=4526 – Part 3

 

Time for review number 4 then! First up, sorry this is late. There’s been a lot going on, a lot of family stuff that HAS come first ultimately and a lot of work put into other ventures. Second of all, I just want to do the obligatory thank you and number crunching.

Over the course of 2 weeks, we’ve had a steady amount of views every day. This, I prefer if I’m honest, and now that we’ve grown our affiliates by one more resource site (Roughkut), we’re REALLY pulling in numbers day by day. 133 people read the review of 6CW’s show, which pulled us to NEARLY 400 views!

Already, we also have a few viewers trying to look at the site for this review. I urge those people to subscribe to the blog, then they can find out EXACTLY when the next instalment of efedreviews is posted.

So with the advertising and self promotion out of the way with and now it’s time for the actual review. I’d like to thank Jesse Styles for actually requesting this review and for the first time EVER I have a backlogue of reviews to get through as not 1, but 3 requests were made last week! NEW’s show was first in scheduling that requested a review, so here it is.

On my very first look, I worry. I’ve not even opened up the results but I see THREE links staring at me. Whether or not this is because of a post restriction on the boards or whether it’s the fact that the owner wanted to break it up…I don’t know. All I do know is that I’m ACTUALLY facing a HUGE task here and…I think about 20 people felt the same way. How can I tell? Part 1 up until this point had 70 readers, part 2 had just 42 and part 3 had 54. That tells me that somewhere in the ether, 16 people got lost and a whopping 28 got bored from part 1 and decided not to read part 2…and 12 people returned for the ending of the show. That’s a pretty big gap, a pretty worrying one and actually sets a bad undertone for the show. I fear I’m going to be reading something that is epic in length but not proportionally great.

I fear this is a part of PPV Syndrome.

PPV Syndrome is an illness amongst fed heads who have ran feds for a long time. They feel they must out do themselves every single PPV and must post a longer show every single time. This results in a lot more waffle in matches, a bigger card which is unneeded and segments that just aren’t useful to the show or any current feuds. I worry NEW is going to suffer this with WWX.

Within the first 6 lines, I notice some small errors that niggle me. They’re nothing more than spelling and grammar issues though (Capitol/Capital) and I can move on pretty quickly, although one minute we have quotation marks and then the next we don’t. Results, even grammar wise, should be consistent.

We also drop a few comma’s where they are needed…but it’s basic grammar that halts the start of this show immediately.

We begin the show with a cheap heat section from an iraqi star. Not a bad way to go, I feel a sense of 2004 creeping in here, and I’m thankful for the nudge back to it.

We slyly transition from this segment STRAIGHT into a match, Jesse Styles, owner of NEW vs. Abdul Bin Hussain. The match seems to have no, or little rules to it as we almost immediately have blood via a weapon. There’s no threat of a disqualification, but then later on there’s a threat of it when a chair comes into play. This is where I start to get confused and start to feel like I don’t ACTUALLY know what match type is going on. Is it a street fight? Is it singles? What?

The technical wrestling in this match however is good. There’s a lot of fluid transitions but I feel like there are a lot of heavy blocks of test, only broken up by one line of commentary, making the commentators very disconnected and therefore one dimensional. Also, both commentators in this match seem to hate the heel. Fine if there’s a reasoning, like there seems to be but my issue here is there doesn’t seem to be a need for a second commentator. One on his own is doing plenty well on getting his own points across and the other is just reiterating.

Then I notice a problem.

I‘m not exactly knowledge-full about NEW and I don’t know if Abdul Bin Hussain is a jobber character…but I hope he is. Otherwise, an ex-handler’s character got brought back to job a match that seemingly, he didn’t even RP for. On top of that, it’s done to put Jesse Styles, the NEW owner over as well as create a FILLER for before the PPV even begins. Is this needed? NO. What does it do to the rest of the results? Cheapens them.

THINK BEFORE YOU DO THIS SORT OF THING is the underlying message. It looks AWFUL on the fed and actually makes me reconsider wanting to finish this review. I almost want to post this, at this point, seeing what they’ve done either way.  Yet I’ve agreed to continue on, so I will.

So next there is a 6 minute video for the intro. 6 minutes in youtube video?!  This NEEDS to be good to hold my attention.

I first see what is clearly a Metallica music video with a music track with then a mix of wrestling snippets cut in. Actually the editing is pretty good, but yet I don’t see this as…something that will hold me solidly for 6 minutes. Maybe that’s because I don’t like Metallica. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen a million and one of these and none of them are *great*, maybe it’s because I’m 2 minutes in and well…I’m pretty bored already. So…moving on from the video, let’s get back to text.

The first official match is a Golden Opportunity Double Ring Ladder match…sounds…clustered and confusing. Sounds something like out of old school WCW that refuses to go away despite the fact that these matches weren’t a great idea the first time around.

Now that we’re starting the match though, we get ourselves some proper commentary. The match takes a good while to get into, but with 9 entrances to make, I’m hardly surprised and even then, the entrances were cut out entirely.

The commentary almost tells the intro of this match and I find myself struggling to work out what’s going on. I love commentary and it DOES need to be done well but it’s needed in the right places. It’s a bit like modern art. In the wrong places, it looks like a pile of dog turd placed upon a set of bricks, but in the right setting…it’s perfect. Using commentary too soon confuses matters, using it too late feels bleak and like things are too action packed and there’s no breaks. In this case, it’s too soon.

I feel almost lost in this and physically unable to catch up. I’ve read it a good three or four times and feel like there is too much commentary if anything.

This match, being a cluster match, goes on for quite a while, not really stopping at all. Ive found it getting a little bland in places, and that may well be because there’s not a whole lot of action to actually follow. What I can say though is that the commentary is good by this point and I feel like I’m following a conversation but that’s all I’m following which is a down point.

Come the end of the match, there’s no announcer, just “WINNERS:”. I figure if you’re going to go the whole hog with results, you may as well use your announcer to call the end of the match.

We have a divide now, a series of dotted lines. I’m still wondering why it is that people do this. Why can’t they have an ongoing show? Is merging a seg from a match that hard? Sorry to the writers here but I see this as kind of lazy…and I don’t take to it well. See other reviews for details here but I honestly don’t see it.

The next segment…is just plain confusing. It tells us about SOMETHING but we don’t find out what. There’s a tragedy of some form befallen the Haute group. In addition to this, I find there’s an alien involved, and then the segment gets helpfully extended by a stable attacking Nick Haute. I’m assuming that this is to do with the main event which is a stable wars match between 5 groups. How a fed gets 5 stables is beyond me…but kudos to NEW for managing to pack their whole roster into groups.

We get more dotted lines and then we go into the next match.

The next thing I see is entrance musics, youtubed. Nice touch here, if I haven’t heard a song before, it’s a good way of wasting a few minutes. Yet I feel it again detracts from the ACTUAL results and properly written, strong results don’t need this sort of thing.

So the next match is Cera vs. Aaron Abraham and is for the futility championship. That’s actually a pretty cool name for a belt in my books and actually I’m pretty surprised. I don’t mean to be rude at this point but now I’m reading and finding this match is actually getting pretty good. There are good commentary sections fused with great action sequences and suddenly I feel happy to read on.

The match gets better as we go on and the pinfall measuring system doesn’t annoy me. A few lines is a sizeable amount without going overboard.  What I didn’t realize before this though was the match was for unification. Now…I wish this has have been made clearer, but all in all, I actually have little gripe with the match, little enough to not even feel like I have to pick on small parts, so if the rest of the matches are written to this standard, I will be a happy reviewer indeed.

More dashes later and we have another segment. The segment reveals the winners of the briefcases in the first proper match and actually does a good job of putting over Jason Scene as a heel. I like this segment although I feel a transition from the match to this would have been better served, and a transition out would have been nice too. Instead I get dashes for my efforts.

I then get a segment full of swearing. THIS IS a global fed, right? TV deal? Check. Sent off to iraq…so world wide tour…check. The word “cunts” just doesn’t get aired without the FCC having a REAL moan…not unless it’s shown post 12am and warned as being for “adults only”. Please, keep strong language where it is relevant. A character, ESPECIALLY a face character doesn’t need to do this inside of a show regardless of their character’s style. On a live show, PPV…it doesn’t happen. Just to let you know. This WOULD be censored and actually that word in particular DOES offend people, myself included.

With more dotted lines gets another segment. I feel this part of the show is top heavy with segments. 2 is ideal, 3 is overkill and slotting this elsewhere would have helped the flow, especially when I don’t REALLY get the point in this segment. Actually I see it more as a developmental RP…which shouldn’t be inside of the show.

We then get a late addition to the show, in the form of yet another segment. This one is a promo about Alexander Koresh wanting a release from a group called Six. I actually liked, and followed this segment cleanly and felt it contributed to the show more than the segment preceeding it. Segments in shows SHOULD be kept simple; Promos, Interviews, Encounters. Yes, segments in shows should follow and worship PIE. If you’re not doing one of those 3 things (and attacks and encounters are one and the same), you should save it for a developmental RP.

Okay…that’s part 1 done. From here now, we are on part 2.

We open up with a match in part 2, and it’s for the stables championship. This is the first time I have EVER seen a stables championship and I wonder if it’s because, truth be told, it’s a title that would depend on the nature of stables and people in them. The match is to be a WarGames match, a match that I’ve seen a couple of times now inside of eWrestling as of late.

What I’m kind of surprised to see is that this is already the main event. Page two, we’re at the start of it, and we’re at the main event. Yet there’s 3 pages of this…so I’m guessing that this is one unbelievably long match…better get to it!

So in traditional War Games fashion, 2 start, there 5 teams, 1 enters the ring at a fixed interval until everyone is in the ring.

I‘ll keep this as short and sweet as I can…as there will undoubtedly be a lot going on. As the action starts, the writing is VERY good. It’s fluid and I can see the moves happening in my mind, which is what I want to see. Commentary is fluid also and I feel immersed. I feel like this show has done a 100% turn around since the intro and actually what we’ve been building up to has been completely worth waiting for. What I do find odd though is that the rest of the show is in present tense. The entrances also are…but then the ACTUAL match itself is in past tense.

Rule #1 of writing ANYTHING – STICK TO THE SAME TENSE. It’s a solid rule, it stops confusion. Did this match actually happen in 1993, did it happen this week, or is it happening NOW? I’m betting on the third, so using present t tense would be useful.  The commentary is also in present tense, so why past tense is being used for the description is completely beyond me.

Also, the first five minutes in this match seem awfully long in comparison with the next five. Another thing you need to take note of as a writer is using words like “The crowd popped”. I’ve said this before and now I say it again…this game is ABOUT KAYFABE. It’s about suspending belief. So what if it went out in reality in 1996. I don’t care. I want to be made to believe this is real, so the “crowd popped” to me ACTUALLY means nothing. I get the image of a pop corn maker and crowd members jumping up and down like pop-corn kernels, not crowd members cheering. If someone cheers, just put that they cheer. It’s that simple, yes, you’re catering to marks…but we don’t want to be reminded that we are marks. We’re casual fans when we’re reading this.

I notice something in this match writing that I’m also a culprit of, which is CAPITAL LETTERS. Actually, while I like to do it to emphasise things, I can see why people find it annoying, looking at these results. Yet they do help to build suspense in results and personally, I like them.

It’s pick on the individual part time!

Hunter Valentyne’s theme plays and out walks the master of the mind fuck him self down to the cell. He took his sweet time but finally did get into the cell.

In case you don’ get what I’m talking about with tenses here, THIS is the problem. In the first, bolded part, we are talking in present tense. “He walks over to the table” is a present tense, where as “he walked over to the table” is a past tense. “Took” is a past tense of “take” or “takes” and “did” is a past tense of “Does”. So how this should read is…

“Hunter Valentyne’s theme plays and out walks the Master of the Mind Fuck himself. He walks down to the cell, taking his own sweet time, before eventually climbing into the cell.”

Yes, okay, I changed some words, changed the ordering a bit and made it more prominent in places. I’m not saying I’m a master of writing but I think, personally, my version makes more sense and actually makes it sound a bit more exciting.

Next up is an issue I have with a move that was used. A Piledriver onto a chair. I want to specify that piledrivers have broken necks and shortened careers as there is virtually know way to soften the blow…so onto a chair…a global corporation like NEW would have serious trouble doing, and then let’s add onto that the fact that the man that gets hit with this, Adrien Specter kicks out of a pin attempt. Sorry, but I see that as near impossible. That should have been an ending move, not so early on, if anything.

Again, heading down the match more, I find the action is pretty good but suffers the tense issue that makes it difficult to read. We also suffer a spot issue…where it feels like the writer is trying to put in TOO MANY spots. Go back and read the APW Survive and Conquer match…that match was fantastic because it didn’t ask for too many big spots, but this already has thrown me several big spots including someone being thrown off the cell. On top of that, when someone gets thrown off the cell, we get a “That was fucking insane” and a “wow” from the commentators. Not really THAT exciting. I guess that’s because every single show that has a cell involved ends up with someone being thrown from it though…

What this match NEEDED to do was just showcase two or three people at a time. Reason; it makes everyone a focus at some point. What this match does, is it scatters the load among everyone and honestly it fails because now, halfway into the 2nd page, I don’t know who I’m keeping up with anymore and it shows…of over 15 guys in the match (I think), 9 have entered by the point I am at, and only 1 has been eliminated. I would expect, normally, three or four to be gone. That to me screams cluttered and clustered.

If this was ACTUALLY on television or Pay Per View, I wouldn’t know what to watch. The effects of each move are truly lost and nothing ACTUALLY feels special. Paragraphs here are a good 15-20 lines long and do they need to be? No. Cut it down to less people in the ring, you’ll be surprised what it can do for your match. Cluster matches are a GOOD IDEA ON PAPER but in actuality are actually a pretty bad idea because you can’t emphasise enough people within enough time. Stables are a bad idea because they follow the same problem, too many people, too little focus on all of them individually. A PPV based on stables…fails because of this notion.

By the point Jason Scene makes his second big showing for this PPV, I find myself wondering if they ACTUALLY had enough roster members to pull off the matches they wanted. 9 men in the first match. An unholy amount in the main event. Good God, they’re clutching at straws and double dutying people…those poor people. And what makes it worse is that this main event doesn’t emphasise ANYONE in a full light. Truth is, when I walk away from this, I don’t see myself thinking “That was a great spot”.

Every big match needs one of those moments you will remember. Not 10 of them. Just 1. That’s what the writer of this match didn’t realize.

NOW, so late on in the match, I find out that it’s 2 minute intervals and not 5. I’m sorry for my ignorance but I had no idea that NEW would be doing 2 minute intervals as it was not explained. NEW could have altered those timings fully and I would not have known, and yes I know these are the right timings of a War Games Match but I would rather be told of the timings.

Now I want to be picky.

Finishers are a VERY difficult thing to get right. As proven in the APW results review, they’re hard to get right and there are ways. NEW is HALF WAY there. They just use the name within the actual results…however, I don’t know what these moves are. SOME description in commentary would be nice…after all, I’ve seen what must be a good 6 or so finishers in capital letters but I have no idea whatsoever of what these moves actually are.

Back to the match, and recapping this, I find that 14 people have entered, only 3 have been eliminated in total. That’s not a lot for SUCH a big match, and the writer then tries to make up for it by eliminating 2 more. I think personally, this should have been steadied up a little, had more happen nearer the start.

As the match continues, I find the pace of eliminations to speed up and the rate of entrants to be about the same as it was before. The spacing between the entrants is near perfect, it’s about the same amount of space/time each time which IS good on behalf of the writer. When Matt Slater came out though, I would have liked to have known what faction he was a part of, possibly in the actual announce of him arriving at the ring.

As the final entrant is made, an elimination spree begins. An actual spree. I make it 4 almost off the bat, which IS going to help cut those numbers down, and off the back of number 4 comes the break over to part 3. Honestly, this should have just been done in replies, not in 3 separate threads…seems like a waste if you ask me.

I notice, as less people are in the ring, the match actually FEELS slower which is good. I like the fact that it seems like it is slowing up…but then things get confusing. One masked man was enough. A second masked man honestly threw me for a second and made me wonder. Again, this wasn’t needed.

At the end of the show, the announce recaps nicely, what has happened in the show. I liked this touch as we go to the end of the show.

Overall: Honestly, I expected better from NEW. The fed is in Kapow’s super 7. It’s done well for itself on Roughkut and obviously has a decent roster. 2 years lifespan, and a large acumen…I expected results to be top notch, yet I found myself actually getting a bit bored at times and I can see where those 28 or so readers got lost. There were some very good points, commentary was on point a lot of the time, and I’m not opposed to a show where there is a lot of commentary. I felt the main event, where cluttered with people, was too cluttered with big moves where only one was needed to carry the whole match.

2 out of 5 stars

Review #3 – 6CW’s Escalation 14/02/2011

Name of Fed: 6CW
Type of Fed: Global
Name of Results: Escalation
Date of Show: 14th Dec 2011
Show Type: Build Up/Normal
Link To Results: http://z3.invisionfree.com/6CW/index.php?showtopic=1056

Review #3 is upon us…and what a couple of weeks it’s been for efedreviews. First of all, we upped our overall viewership to a fantastic 237 viewers at time of writing. This is an increase of well over 100 people. Of those, 13 came from CWC on the first day the review was posted, 11 from Kapowgfx and 10 from the APW boards. It’s great to see so many from APW step up to read this and we also had members join Kapow from APW, purely off of the merits that the review gave. This is fantastic and I’m glad I could give everyone the opportunity to get involved with one another’s results as this is a pivotal part of the review system.

Also, over the course of that week, added to the site was the facility to post your own reviews. Please use it, it’s there for you.

Okay, now on with the review.

6CW is a promotion I’ve personally been interested in for quite some time, but I’ve never really had the chance to check it out on more than a face value. I hand picked 6CW because they are a very active fed within several communities and this, I thought, was a good way of paying them back for the work they’ve put in.

The first thing that strikes me, is that I don’t actually KNOW what type of promotion this is. I assume it’s global but nowhere does it tell me, it’s just the results scream global style to me, despite all the graphic work telling me indy or hardcore.

With the results, the biggest hit here initially, on first inspection is a lack of coding. Actually it’s a nice refreshment if I’m honest. There’s less to go wrong with the results and therefore less flow to break with odd brackets everywhere and it still looks neat without any extra formatting.

Commentary from the off shows what seems to be two face commentators, or possibly one face, and one neutral, both aimed at giving stats and interesting facts than entertainment. That’s fine, however as pointed out in previous reviews, doing this can lead to the commentators being slightly stale.

We open the show with a segment from one half of the tag team champs of the company, Perfect Jack, who talks about deserving a world title shot. To my surprise, Perfect Jack…is face? Sorry but this threw me entirely. I expected him to be heel with his speech but the crowd in the promo are hot for him and against the general manager. This ultimately confuses me…but yet the segment does well in introducing the next PPV show. This is good work despite the earlier failure in distinguishing face and heel, and this failure to distinguish continues throughout the RP. I feel like the character is designed to be like an Austin 3:16 figure but inside of ewrestling, it sort of fails…and confuses more than anything.

This next bit strikes me as very odd. It’s a part of the retort from the general manager…

“and as Peggy Mitchell would say,”Its my name above the door, and if you don’t like it you can get out” hahaha”

I sure do hope there aren’t many Americans in 6CW or the reference is lost. Also, the random ‘hahaha’ at the end is just bizarre and should have been added into description, breaking up the speech with a simple line saying that the character laughs at his own comment.

As I continue down the results, I see NO break to introduce the matches. I like this a lot…it actually makes me feel like there’s a solid flow.

Jack Frost vs. Eli Anaku

By this point already, we’ve established now a face and heel commentator, yet they both seem to get along. It’s a very odd relationship these two have, I feel. As the match begins, I feel like I’m seeing a format I’m familiar with and I like it. There isn’t an over-abundance in spaces, it’s simple, clear and yet suspenseful.

That’s the first pinfall anyway. This match is actually a clear squash, and is written as so, with no offence from one member at all. That’s fair as the other didn’t roleplay, so a squash is warranted.

The next thing I see throws me off completely. A separate forum post for an advert break. I ask myself at this point, is this REALLY needed? The answer is no. It isn’t. If you’re going to do an ad break, put in a picture or a video. If you’re going to do it, post it at the top or at the end of your last post. That extra post is purely pointless.

Jerome Debois vs. Triple D

As we go into match number two on the card, I find that there’s great flow between the once again tweener commentators. It seems like they switch tweener between matches then turn face and heel in the matches which is plain bizarre.

One thing that I am confused about though…Henry Lloyd is one of the commentators, so how does he become HE in initials?

Dubois plays a great heel in this match, gaining cheap heat from just being French. But honestly, if I was in a crowd, I’d boo the French guy too, so cheap heat works and you can see the crowd being catered for as he shouts out “LA FRANCE!” during the match.

The first half of the match, honestly, is a bit of a squash. There’s a lot of heel momentum which is bizarre as often you start a match with a strong face shine, then work in a heel takeover, before building in a hope spot, then the finish. Generally thats the formula behind a solid match but this match actually ignores it, possibly though because both guys, seemingly, are heel.

Yet despite this, they put on a great match. This is possibly one of my favourite moments;

“1…
……2

…..kickout……..Both men scramble up and Dubois levels Triple D with a right hand but Debadguy stomps on his kneecap and leaps into the air…

HE:DEBAD….OH!”

What this does is builds suspense well, taking into account the finisher reversal also as well as the long pinfall. Fantastic writing here on behalf of the writer.

It’s bizarre reading the face shine in this match, as it clearly goes to the heel.

“1……………2…………………3!

JT: Debadguy did it!

HE: Yeah…no wait he never….he never Jeff….referee pointing to the ropes. Dubois showed his ring presence there!

Debadguy grabs his hair and looks frustrated as the referee points at Dubois’ foot on the ropes. He stands up and clutches his head and neck in pain as screams for Dubois to get up. He jumps up and down and stomps his feet as he waits for Dubois to get up…”

This is a classic FACE move. The old foot on the ropes routine is classic face and honestly, giving it to a heel in any match, even if it’s a heel vs heel match feels wasted to a degree. I see why it was done, to give a close match a very close finish, but actually it sort of fails, despite the fact that it DOES set up the ending of the match, with a reversal of a reverse tombstone into an alabama slam. Nice spot there, I’ll be honest.

The match then takes a turn, and turns into a scripted segment finish with Gerard Dubois cutting a promo part way through it about wanting to reunite with his son. This turns into a hugely heel finish, actually possibly turning Jerome Dubois face. The heel v heel sequence now makes sense…and kudos to the writer for the swerve.

We next see the new Extreme Champion make his way down to the ring. Geoff Steel gets one hell of an intro, including a textualized video showing how he won the title to begin with. However in his segment, something annoys me almost immediately. Recognizing a pop as a crowd pop…yes, we know what it is, but efedding is based around KAYFABE, and saying things like “pop”, “heat” etc…it takes the kayfabe away. It ruins it, we’re to pretend in ewrestling that kayfabe was never broken to begin with and as the guy says in the infamous video…we’re to pretend that “IT’S STILL REAL TO ME!!”

That being said, avoid using phrases like “pop”. It just looks cheap. Leave it for the reviewers to use the words pop. Saying that, Steel, in real life, would have got one hell of a pop.

My niggling problem with 6CW, and this has been in both segments now, is grammar. It seems like people have forgotten what full stops are, and they don’t know where to place a comma. Please remember what they’re for…they’re to tell the reader when to STOP reading or when to break for air…I ran out of air approxiamately 20 minutes ago and I’m turning purple because of this.

THEN this segment makes another mistake…and it references WWE. Sorry but in efedding…*grumble* them feds, they don’t exist. That’s the only way we can get away without plagiarizing them so we pretend, simply, they don’t exist. WWE referenced here will HAVE to stand for Women Without Ears. So…Women Without Ears is a soap opera according to their commentator. To be honest, if it was a soap opera, I’d probably watch it, it sounds pretty funny…

Anyway, after a missed question mark after what was clearly a question from the commentator, we get a sneak attack, starting a feud!

We have some more commercials now, and luckily, they’re just posted at the end of the last post. I like how we come back from the action and after a vicious attack, there’s no talking about it. It never happened apparently and Women Without Ears continues to be the leading soap opera in Scotland.

I see a lot of theme songs picked from Women Without Ears at this point in the show and now I start to wonder if it’s a requirement of application.

The commentators at this point sell Mark Matzko’s history with Mason well, however something bugs me. I have to GUESS what match is what at this point. Until the entrances were made and the word “Respective teams” were uttered in commentary, I had no idea the next match was to be a tag match.

Mason & Mark Matzko vs Yarmouth Blade & Frank Rook

Even knowing this was a tag match, having read on, I still had to work out who was on what team. This needs to be distinguished a little better or you’ll make the reader think *godforbid* and you’ll lose flow.

The action is nice to begin with in the match, and then we get to a crowd reaction.

“Crowd: asshole! x10″

Sounds silly, but don’t write “xnumber” here…if you’re going to do it 10 times, simply write in the match itself, “The noise of the crowd repeating the word ‘Asshole’ drowns out even the noise in the ring”…that way we know it’s loud and there’s a lot of it. For all I know, the crowd are actually saying Asshole times 10 here.

I love the use of slapping Matzko in the face to make a tag. Mason plays a brilliant heel in this match in that sense, and it causes a distraction which causes a heel overtake within the match.

Surprisingly, it’s the face that takes control in this match in the end and drills his tag team partner with his finisher. A fantastic finish to a well written match.

I notice there’s a distinct lack of segments in the show. Whether this is because of members not sending them in, or writers not writing them, I don’t know, but in short, there is not a lot going on.

The main event of this card is a triple threat tag team match for the tag team championships of 6CW.

Jonathan Cross and Angel (Untouchables V2) vs. GazzyD & Daniel Reilly vs. Dicey Reilly & Perfect Jack

F irst things first. If you have 6 entrances to make and three teams, make them come out together. So many entrances in one hit is very tedious. So, once the entrances are out of the way, we settle in for the final match.

The introduction to this match is neat with some fantastic action. There’s a lot of action within the match but I would expect some more small covers and break ups in the immediate term in the match purely due to the amount of people involved in the match. The first pinfall actually comes after a finisher which is kind of odd, I would have expected a lot more within the match.

We see a swerve happen within the match with one man leaving the ring apron and it’s nicely done. My honest feeling though is that this match is a clustered match, there’s a lot of people involved and yet it feels like it’s a small match. It didn’t feel like a championship match, in reading it. It felt small, it felt…well smaller than previous matches on the card and for a main event, that’s not good.

The very end of the show is a brawl, for lack of a better word. Two sets of stars (so four stars) go at one another as the show fades out.

Overall: The show is a great read, possibly one of my favourites that I’ve read but I can’t help but feel like the main event was lacking. That costs this show quite a lot.

 

4 out of 5 stars

Review #2 – Action Packed Wrestling – Survive And Conquer 2011

Fed Name: Action Packed Wrestling
Type of Fed: Global
Name of Results: Survive and Conquer 2011
Date of Show: 30th Jan 2011
Show Type: Pay Per View/Super Show
Link To Results: http://apwprez.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ppvresults&action=display&thread=6087

So here we are…review #2, and one that was requested personally. Before I crack on, I want to rub my own ego a little and thank the 130 or so people that sat through and read the review of Epic’s Chaos show. For my first review, I am thrilled that so many people read it and hopefully a great number of you went on to read the results posted there. Of those 130 or so, I am hoping many of you have returned to read this review, especially as it is of what I would call a ‘powerhouse’ fed’s show.

By that, I mean that Action Packed Wrestling, or APW, is one of the biggest out there. It’s been going strong now for a number of years (3 consecutive now), and the owner is a well respected fedhead within the community.

For a bit of background on this event, the Survive and Conquer shows have been going on since APW’s resurrection in 2008. HurricaneJeff, the fedhead of APW has managed to do a sterling job of recruiting in for this event as it sees 40 people compete with a shot at winning $500,000. In addition to the Survive and Conquer match however, six other big matches appear on this particular pay per view event, making it easily one of the largest shows I’ve ever read.

Before going into the show in greater detail, I would like to personally thank HurricaneJeff. After asking if I would review the show for him, he then endeavoured to get the show up as quick as possible due to time zone differences. The show is perfectly on time, just posted a little earlier for me to be able to get in with this review, so thank you Jeff. I would also like to personally apologize to any and all readers who were expecting this review a week ago.

Okay, now on with the show.

We open up with the video package above. Now I posted this and not the image that is on the APW boards because I think more workmanship went into this particular piece. It’s nice to see effort put in, even when it isn’t neccessary.

We first learn, in commentary, about matches. Pay Per View events should always start like this, no questions asked. It’s a standard way of opening but it works well. Both commentators seem very mutual in the off, which makes me wonder if later one will take a heel side while one takes a face side. Bear in mind that this is the first time I have read a set of results in full in APW, so while many of you will be screaming at me now, saying it’s clear…to me, it isn’t. I like the mutuality of the two right now though, it plays well in my book.

We cut straight into a match now. A tag team match – for the tag team titles. I am a huge advocate of tag team wrestling, I love seeing efeds utilizing tag team belts well. So the brackets for this one are;

Brandon and Kaycee Young (The Beautiful Disaster) vs. Blade & C.J.Gates (The Exchange Rate)
APW Tag Team Championship

Immediately I see a technical clinic. A leg trip followed by a jump through to a front facelock and then a hammer lock. This to me screams great writing, taking the technical route first. The action soon gets quick and then we cut into commentary following the first minor spot.

Straight away, I am immersed. In one shot, I want to read the entire show.

As I get a little further down the match however,  I do see something that does irk me ever so slightly. It’s a small thing but I find it extends the results, makes them look larger than they are, especially when the results are long enough as they are, and that is this;

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2
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Kick Out by Brandon Young

In that alone, we have 8 lines added from nothing. My issue with this is more that it can be done in many ways that can still keep intensity but stops such a large amount of space being used. My first instinct when writing results is just to do this. 1…2…kickout. It’s simple, clean and effective.

Also, I’m not 100% that a 2 count would be gained off of one small move. I’d of preferred to see an immediate kick out as this quite frankly makes Young actually look quite weak.

Again, commentary is neutral. Nothing set in stone yet as to whether one leans one way or another. In real life, I wonder if I would be irritated by this, only because two people talking to one another and agreeing on every single thing is kind of annoying.

Getting further through this match, I find that within four paragraphs, we have ourselves a finisher having been used. First of all, the move itself is bracketed after the name. I understand why this would be done, as twenty feds were represented in this event, not everyone would know everyone’s moves, but I would rather have described the move in the match itself and them used commentary to produce the name.

On top of that, I find this;

Gate Crasher (360 Corkscrew Senton), knocking everyone down and the fans are cheering

Harvey: CJ Gates just used his finisher there but I don’t think it was as effective as if he done it in the ring

Okay, my two problems with this are as such, I’ve already said one, which is the bracketing. My second is the use of the word “finisher”. Honestly, NO-ONE calls their move a finishing move in real wrestling. A signature or trademark maybe, but finisher…no. That sounds too game like, it sounds too false.

More dots later, I’ve realized that the writers really listen to microsoft word’s whining a bit too much. They separate words out that should be together, like Snapmare. The word, in wrestling terms, is one solid word.

Brandon takes CJ and throws him to the corner. Brandon charges at him and CJ gets an elbow up into Brandon’s face. Brandon stumbles back and jumps to the middle turnbuckle. CJ jumps off and goes for a Tornado DDT, but Brandon catches him in mid air and counters with a northern Lights suplex and he bridges into a cover

I copied this part directly for good reason. I thought the action in this was superb. The notion of this counter is brilliant and works well. This was a “holy shit” moment in terms of counters, and deserves props where props are due.

After that, we go back to a series of pinfalls. I love a lot of pinfalls in a match, regularly, but for me in this one, it doesn’t add to it. I would try varying it a slight, use commentary instead of dots, so more excitement can build, perhaps?

This is the perfect example.

Harvey: We have new Tag Team Champions

Brandon covers
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2
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CJ Pulls Brandon off of Blade.

The commentary here should be placed somewhere between the two and the save. Add more commentary in, less dots. The dots tell me the pinfalls are getting longer, so the counts are getting wider apart also.

Moving on, I find that the latter part of this match is exactly how a good match should be. Full of big time moves and suspense, keeping us guessing as to who is going to walk out with the belts. I like the build this match has and even at the anticlimactic end, I feel like the match, and RP’ers definitely got a good showing here, especially when this match is not designed to be the focus of the night.

Then this happens:

“Raining Blood” By Slayer hit’s the PA. The fans cheer as the President of Action Packed Wrestling, Hurricane Jeff walks with a microphone in hand. Jeff stands at the top of the ramp and lifts the mic to his lips as the music cuts off

Jeff: What did everyone think of this match

The arena erupts in cheers

On a draw note, it’s difficult to know how to handle it, but I would first of all say that if I was in a crowd, I would likely boo anyone that asked that question following a match that ended in a time limit draw. Regardless of if that person was face or heel, I would boo. I would feel cheated. But then something incredible happens. The match gets restarted!

I like this swerve a lot. I felt cheated. I want to see a conclusion – by God, I get one.

The conclusion isn’t long and is filled with a lot of blank space, but it’s nice to get a conclusion. Kudos to the writer on this one.

We then go for a walk on inconsistent formatting road, where suddenly everyone’s names are in [] marks. Silly thing to pick up on, it doesn’t matter, just doesn’t keep things looking as smooth.

This segment is between APW World Champion and Kapow: War Treaty winner, Sally Talfourd and Keaton Saint. The segment is clear, with a clear disdain between the two. Segments between two faces, especially reactionary segments, are interesting. It’s clear the two don’t get along yet Keaton Saint is to align himself with Sally in the Survive and Conquer match. That is, until he says the last sentence in his segment, almost teasing a heel turn.

We head straight back to the ring for match two.

Link vs. Mr Dangerous

The match writing here, in this match, feels quite rushed, to say the least. I hate to say this sort of thing but it really does, and that’s the feel I get from the very beginning. The intro with the baseball slide actually doesn’t lead into a DDT at all, yet somehow we’re made to believe they merge. Comments like “Dangerous now has a broken nose” honestly make me wonder if it was thought out at all – commentary could of been sceptical as to whether it was or not a broken nose, an outright statement like that…honestly fails.

The idea of this match, clearly, was to pull a complete upset. It was a shocker of a twist at the end of this very short match. There’s not much else to say about this match, I think it pulls off what it needs to but it just wasn’t executed greatly.

Next up is a segment between Blade, CJ Gates and Branden Harvey. It’s a bit of banter between team mates about the upcoming Survive and Conquer match. Nice, short segment here, nothing spectacular.

We go back to the ring and it’s time for one of the special attraction matches.

APW Xtreme Championship Blaze of Glory Match
Diamante Valentine Vs XXX Fire

The base idea of this match is to set the opponent on fire. Whether this is similar to an inferno match or not remains to be seen, I would guess not so.

Instantly we see…that it isn’t as one of the guys pulls out a lighter. The idea of this match is basically a glorified hardcore match as one man pulls out a kendo stick and sets it on fire. Hardcore matches are often entertaining to read, and this is no different. The action goes back and forth a lot,

There’s a particular spot I like. It’s this:

Triple X also grabs a BBQ lighter and gets into the ring. He takes the Alcohol and holds the liquid in this mouth and lights up the lighter and spits out a fire ball into the air. Diamante see’s this and is instantly scared. Triple X puts more alcohol into his mouth and starts approaching Diamante. Triple X lights the lighter up and spit’s the fireball at Diamante.

This shows great imagination on part of the writer here and really is something that would generate a pop from the crowd. I wish we would of had a crowd reaction from this, but none the less, a great spot there. I like the commentary bringing us back to the last time this type of match happened.

Next, during the match, is a run in by Damian Walker. I think the run in, in this match works. Often run-ins are done too much but I like the way it’s in effect neutralized quickly and it stops the end of the match happening early.

The ending spot is nicely executed. Definitely a good call on this. I enjoyed this match thoroughly. Kudos to the writer.

We next come up to a very odd segment by Ryan Ruckus and Hannah Storm. This is a very bizarre segment that right now makes no sense…but definitely builds intrigue.

Following this is a segment by Pence Weatherlight. It shows that Pence has a stomach illness but will still try to compete. Yet another segment fills the next spot, from Keaton Saint. He tells the world that he is still a free agent and that his history with Level One may come into this one. This is a nice promo, I enjoyed reading it.

A fourth segment fills the next slot. Four segments in one hit feels very clustered to me. The APW Overdrive Champion, Biggs, tells us all of his match with Chiss Cassidy.

Finally we reach our next match. A singles match;

Terry Marvin Vs AJ King

This match is between what seems to be two relatively new guys on the scene. What confuses me is why this is billed above 2 title matches, but that’s for Jeff to have decided.

The action kicks in quickly here, there’s no wasted time at all. The commentary is crisp and clear, talking about the history the two men have as it begins but again we’re treated to extended dot sections.

I like the fact that this one went outside the ring. Matches rarely do that so it’s a nice treat. King in this match really gets dominated in the get go, and I love how they use the fact that Marvin is in the Survive and Conquer match later in the commentary, letting us all know exactly what Marvin’s plan is; to get this one done with quickly.

The match swings both ways a fair amount in the later innings of the match, but then swings in the favour of AJ King who makes 3 consecutive pinfalls.

This is the first match also where commentary feels a lot more face and heel. I like that, but I agree, if a referee gets struck, like they did in this match, then it would be a disqualification instantly.

Again, more back and forth continues in this match, and this time Marvin takes control again over King. A couple of pins happen, the action hots up again, swings the other way and the match ends.

There are a lot of hope spots in this match and a lot of heel swings. Overall, the match was written great and exciting. Again, kudos to the writer.

Another segment now, between CJ Gates and Rico Casteel this time. Gates presents his concerns about the Survive and Conquer match to Rico. A nicely written segment here but it goes on quite a bit and I feel that what is said in the segment could have been said much simpler and shorter.

Time for another match now!

APW Overdrive Championship Match
Biggs © vs. “The Second Coming” Criss Cassidy

I pick the funniest times to mention things and at this point I find it fitting to present to you the show layout. Entrances are made before the divide seen above that announces the match. I personally dislike to see the name of the match as commentary should cover this and it stops people wanting to read the whole show, just their own match, in my opinion there, of course. I picked up on this in the EPIC review and it’s no different here, I feel exactly the same regarding this show and any other I will review.

I absolutely love the heel play here by Biggs. The intro with him shouting “Smite Me!” several times is brilliant and would truly get the crowd pumped against Biggs.

Again, this match is a testament to a pay per view championship match. A long drawn out match with lots of hope spots and darker moments in the match as the action goes back and forth. There’s quite a lot of technical work in the intro, followed by a nice high spot from Cassidy.

I wonder at this point in the match if the writer actually had issues with not writing the name “Chriss.” I’ve almost done it several times and I’ve now ended up avoiding writing the name altogether.

One thing I notice is that the writers aren’t shy to use the proper names for things. What I mean is like Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. “Grabs him into” isn’t exactly the best phrase for that move neither, and I’d of more had it explained what he did, before commentary went into calling the move by its official name. Only reasoning for that is it gives more feeling, the match feels almost robotic because of it.

Again, after a lot more dots and a couple more finisher descriptions in brackets, we get to a pinfall attempt where Chiss Cassidy has an easy kickout on a late 2. Without meaning to sound offensive here but an easy kickout is off of a 1 count normally and once a guy has taken as much as Chiss Cassidy has in this match by this point, no kick out is easy. Think about it this way; You’ve been in a ring with a guy who is about 10 pounds heavier than you. He hits a finisher on you, he wears you down through the match, he makes a pin…every ounce of effort is needed to get out of that pin, especially if the guy is even remotely bigger than you. All of this may seem excessive for the use of one phrase, but this honestly makes Chiss Cassidy seem like the next superman, which even with a name like the “Second Coming”, will not be the case. The guy is worn, give your champion the credibility of having done clear damage.

While I understand this came off of a light, cocky pinfall cover, I still feel he should have just got the shoulder up at a late 2.

Next up to be scrutinized is this sentence:

And sure enough, Biggs exit’s the ring through the top and middle rope and climbs to the top rope. He taunts the crowd and then leaps off with the frog splash and Cassidy gets his knee’s up into Bigg’s stomach.

Now there’s not actually much wrong with this, only that I would prefer to see a bit more excitement. Something like;

Biggs exit’s the ring through the top and middle rope and climbs up to the top rope…sneering towards the fans, he makes a taunt out towards them, sending them off in reams of boos. He leaps…UFO FROG SPLA…NO!! Cassidy gets the knee’s up STRAIGHT into Biggs’ stomach!

See the difference? It’s a suspense of belief, that’s why we do this and you want to preserve the hype that would happen at a real show. I’m not saying definitely do it like this but it’s definitely a good way to capture more excitement.

After a couple more pinfall attempts, we see something that I adore in results. REAL excitement, the use of commentary to highlight that there could be a new champ. This is what I would expect in a real match so this does very well in the point from before, suspense of belief.

The end however feels anticlimactic. Perhaps because of this;

Cassidy is laid out in the middle of the ring. Biggs goes back to the top and this time, comes off with the UFO Frog Splash and connects. Biggs hooks the leg.

Again, I just feel like we need more excitement in the actual writing of the match. I’m going to do the same as I did above…

Cassidy is out cold in the middle of the ring. Biggs takes a look down at him, before screaming at him that he will never be Overdrive Champion before looking towards the turnbuckle.

Harvey: Is Biggs looking for it again?

Chase: Looking? He’s gunna score it this time!

He climbs to the top slowly, before taking a look down on his fallen opponent…he leaps….

Harvey: Here he goes…U…F…O…FROG SPLASH!

Chase: YES! HE GOT IT! THIS IS OVER!

Again, I’m not saying how it should be written but in my ending, it’s a lot less anticlimactic. You know what is going to happen, but it basically shows the move in a great light, as a proper finisher and it gives the ending a real…ending feel.

Nonetheless, a well written match here and this is definitely a great warm-up towards the main event.

We’re cutting backstage again, with Branden Harvey. I find there are a lot of segs in this show by the same three people. This shows their dedication but also shows how less dedicated others are…which should be addressed. In the ending of this segment, Harvey is attacked. This definitely throws a spanner in the works for the upcoming main event.

Next we have a video package for APW’s biggest show of the year, Wrasslemania. I have no problem with these but the issue that comes to hand is the fact that it is clearly clippings from WWE shows thrown together. That makes it in a way…kind of a let down.

As we come back, HurricaneJeff and Biggs are in the CEO office. Biggs asks to put his title on the line every week which is a bizarre thing to do if you’re heel. He then refuses to face Pence Weatherlight and the face CEO…agrees (albeit sarcastically). I was baffled by this segment, honestly.

We’re back to the ring again for another match.

Grudge Match
Matt Ward Vs The UK Kid

I would have initially liked to have seen why exactly this is a grudge match. Being an outsider, looking in, I find that I don’t know the stories coming into these things and from the offset…it just feels like a match. Instantly off of one clothesline, there is a 2 count pinfall (hasty much?) and then both are back to their feet.

We finally get a tiny bit of history and yet I’m still wondering why this is a grudge match despite that bit of history.

The next portion of the match got me wondering a little;

Kick out. Matt climbs up to the top rope.

Harvey: Matt Ward out weighs the UK Kid, but as we’ve seen time and time again, that means nothing in APW

Matt waits and UK Kid gets to his feet. Matt leaps off hitting him with a flying forearm. Matt covers and hooks the leg.

Matt goes up for a high spot and yet the commentary doesn’t bother to pick up on it. It goes on about weight differences as if they are still playing a mat game.

This match overall is pretty short but is packed to the hilt with action. Again, why it’s booked above one of the main matches (the Overdrive title) in the night is beyond me however.

There’s no segments between the next two matches, and just as well really as now we can get down to the nitty gritty, the reason why we’re here to start with…the Survive and Conquer match!

Here is the breakdown of the match, just because it’s written so beautifully here and I couldn’t explain it any better;

Ferrari: The match will start off with two competitors in the ring, and they will be joined by another competitor every 90 seconds! Eliminations occur when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet hit the floor! Once we are down to the final four, a steel cage will be lowered, and the last person to escape will be eliminated. When only three competitors remain, the match will become a Triple Threat Street Fight, where whoever gets pinned or submits will be eliminated! Finally, when we are down to the final two, the match will become a Hell in a Cell Ladder match, where the two competitors must find a way to break out of the cell, and reach the top, taking the ladder and retrieving the briefcase with $500,000 cash to become the winner of Survive and Conquer!

Honestly speaking…this type of match scares me, if only because it seems clustered. 40 guys in a rumble environment is difficult to write anyway, but combine in three other match types…including a hell in a cell ladder match…and well…it certainly feels overdone to say the least. That’s my first analysis, but we’ll see if this changes as the match goes on.

I won’t go into too much detail on the actual content of the match, purely because I don’t want to spoil it for any potential readers but throughout the match, I’ve found that the action was very quick paced. This one time, and one time only, the spaced out counting works also. I hate it with pins but with rumble style matches, it makes a lot of sense.

The commentary in the survive and conquer match also adds a lot to it. The little bits of information that you attain from commentary, I find, is important, especially where 40 strange men are found in the ring together.

The action in this match is great also though. In between eliminations, we see a lot of technical wrestling and the styles are perfectly meshed within the ring at all times.

There’s also no break from either action or eliminations throughout and eliminations happen almost randomly at points, which actually shows the unpredictable nature of the match type. Great work there.

I get the impression that those who are eliminated quickly were people who no showed the event. My one wonder here is, how the order was picked? Was it in a random order picked by the writer, or were names drawn from a hat for the order and the writer wrote around that order? I ask this as I see several people, even fifteen entry, are thrown into the match and then thrown out instantly. This makes things interesting throughout the match but it would definitely be interesting, in the interest of fairness more than anything, to know which method was chosen.

I think showing the timer every single time is unneeded. Yes, it builds anticipation towards the next release but I would be concentrating on the match more anyway and perhaps it could be lowered in some instances, especially near the middle, where we’re the majority of the way through it, to just a three count. This is more in the interest in keeping the flow going more than anything and my personal opinion of shows is that they must flow fluidly.

I love how, in this match, Ryan Ruckus is shown in the match as the uber heel. He barely takes part in the match but does enough damage to the lead faces, Keaton Saint and Sally Talfourd with fly-by-night attacks. This is clever and stops the match getting overly clustered while giving any reading crowd something to actually detest. Ruckus is really put over as the big heel here and I love every second of it. A part of me is kept reading just by his antics, and I constantly want to see more.

There’s a tiny bit of a coding error later on into the match, but that doesn’t seem to matter so much as the action seems to only get better despite the error.

It’s nice to see so many familiar faces in this as I read through, guys who I’ve worked with a lot in the past, guys who I’ve posted alongside in !Kapow! (Cheap Plug there, now where’s my commission?!) and worked alongside in previous efed tournaments that I’ve taken part in – but also it’s nice to see so many newer names come out. There are a lot of people I’ve never heard of but I want to, instinctively read their work after this, especially if they got a good showing.

This goes to show the magnitude of Survive and Conquer. It’s easily on par with Experts Tournaments in terms of hype and this match really does fulfil it’s hype brilliantly.

There’s a few great spots including playing on names, with two Jason’s facing one another and two Cash’s doing the same (well one is a Kash, but it would be said the same) that are almost quite humorous as well as a nice quip about Saliva being used by a load of people in the match.

I love how in the first part of this match, the brackets are taken out and the move names are used only. The only issue with this is that they’re not described in any way, shape or form. Finishers are a tricky thing to handle properly but the ultimate way is to have commentary announce the move name, while the move is described in the text itself of the match. I found myself having to run back and forth several times in this one purely due to that and it ruined the flow a slight.

As the match goes on, I begin to wonder if we’re going to see any more eliminations. It seems like the ring is awful cluttered as no eliminations seem to happen for a good while. However doing this has stopped the match from becoming too routine so in the end, it equals out nicely.

And then it happens. Four eliminations in one hit, all by one star, Level-One. It’s impressive and designed to bill him as a possible winner, which of course, L-1 always is.

At one point, eleven men are in the ring at any one time. The fact that the action can only go as far as showing two or three at a time however shows just how hard it is to write something like this accurately and keep it feeling real. The writer does a great job of this, but does skip out stars altogether in one stance, making me wonder exactly what they are doing while the rest of the mayhem ensues.

We then see a series of five eliminations almost as soon as the last entrant comes in. This is huge as it enables us to get to the final six which is the pivotal number in this match seeing as as soon as it falls to four, it becomes a totally new game.

As we go down to four men, it becomes a Steel Cage match. Instantly the faces in the match take on the big heel in the match, letting the unknown quarter escape quickly and soon, following that, the biggest face reference in the match goes onto the street fight stage of the match also.

The action between the last two men in the cage is ferocious to say the least. The battle ensues for a great deal of time before the big heel goes through in the match. This was a given as the “big face” went through early on. Sorry to C J Gates, but Sally is just that much bigger of a face.

In the street fight element, poor Sally gets attacked from the off and I use the word poor because I actually feel sorry for her. An alliance forms between the two remaining heels in the match, which soon becomes a brawl as the two find they can’t work together. This is a great move on behalf of the writer, and it only gets better when the dominant faction in the match come back out and attack Sally.

The street fight section goes on for a while, and then a shock happens in terms of who is eliminated. We’re left with two heels in the end of this, and it’s when things like this happen that you can tell it wasn’t booked to be this way. Sally and Ruckus should have been the last two as big face and big heel but ultimately, Marvin’s RP was stronger than Sally’s and you can tell that by the fact that he outlasted her.

With the rules of this match being that you have to get out of the cell and use the ladder on top to climb and grab the briefcase of cash, it’s not long before we see the two breaking out of the cell using a set of stairs as aid, before then the action hots back up. I like the break in full on match action that allows this to happen. I feel like we’ve been through an awful lot as readers already, a lot of action, and a small break is definitely welcomed.

As we get to the final moments in the match, we actually expect a big finish and we get it in sensational fashion. Without saying too much, I will definitely say that the whole show is definitely worth the read just to get to the absolutely phenomenal ending.

Overall, APW’s Survive and Conquer show was a fantastic Pay Per View event…but it lacked something that kept me interested prior to the main event. The rest of the show felt very undervalued in comparison to the Survive and Conquer match and I felt like the extending of the pinfalls was more of an annoyance than it was a help in building excitement. I had to go back to Survive and Conquer, several times in order to finish this review and that’s partially due to interest waning in it and partially because of the sheer length of the show.

Score

3 and a half stars.

Review #1 – EPIC – CHAOS 6 (23rd Jan 2011)

Fed Name: Epic
Type of Fed: National
Name of Results: CHAOS
Date of Show: 23rd Jan 2011
Show Type: Regular build-up
Link To Results: http://thisisepic.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=results&action=display&thread=165&page=1

So congratulations go out to Epic for getting the first eFed Review of their Chaos show. This caught my eye because of being a regular on Kapow! (www.kapowgfx.com) where they regularly post. I found myself generally being interested in the fed and this felt like a solid starting point for a review.

My first thoughts of Epic were not quite met initially. Not by results, I will get onto these as a part of the review shortly, but rather I expected an independent company. However the company itself is run out of a compound, with a weekly televised show and monthly pay per view schedule, this making it a National styled fed. In addition to this, Epic uses a news/recap style show approach to their results.

Immediately something hit me. Punctuality. This is an important trait within eFeds, if a fedhead wants his roster to be punctual, he must also be punctual with results. I was really impressed with Epic’s punctuality. Staff member, Jake, had the results up for the 23rd January show by 5:27am GMT on the morning of the 23rd. Now…putting that into context of American time zones, this show was actually posted the night before the show was due. That…is incredible and a rarity in this game, a fedhead who is responsive enough to put results up before they’re due. That’s a definite plus point to Epic’s results. Of all of their six shows so far, none have been out of time. I hope this is a trend that continues with Epic, it will definitely play in their favour.

Onto the results themselves.

At the very top of the show, it reads the slogan from the Accident and Emergency Network. This immediately shows attention to detail. It’s small things like that that really get me thinking about the type of place this is. In the opening line of commentary we find out that this is the go home show towards their first PPV event. Again, it’s little things like this that help me make sense of what is going on. I’ve not read the last weeks of this, only checked the dates. I didn’t know we were gearing up for a PPV, so now I do know that this is the go home show, I know that I’m expecting a good show. In theory, at least.

I then see credits posted as we go. This is a direct quote:

Six Man Tag – Winning Team Picks Gimmick for Individual PPV Matches
“Hungry” Jack Swanson, Eric McLean, and Dexter Davis
vs.
Victor Jace, Eddie Mustang, and L.T.
Written by Jake

This, while a nice touch, in crediting those that have written the matches, actually ruins the flow a little for me. When in any show do you see what match is coming up, unless it’s told by the commentary or a hype shot? I assume this is meant to be the latter of these, but in this sense, it breaks the flow of the results and turns me away a little. Also, credits are fine for the end of the show, but I personally wouldn’t put them in as parts of the show. To be honest, very little people ever mind who has written what match and it could be left out all together if we really wanted more focus on the results.

This match is pretty simple. It shows simple bits of action with then how it finishes. My one issue is at the bottom. The timer.

WINNER(s): Eddie Mustang, L.T., and Victor Jace, pinfall 13:01

My issue is more that there’s very little action shown in the match to reflect a match of 13 minutes. I know these are recapped style matches but we are to make up what happened for the duration of this match if these results are anything to go by.

Next up is another piece of commentary. I like how this recaps the event of the last match in order to write someone out for the pay per view. A very nice trick there, something that should be obvious that isn’t seen a lot. A smooth segway on commentary takes us to the next match, along with a little A&E advert. Nice stuff, linking us back again to what network we’re watching.

Cameron “Cutter” Stone vs. ONYX

So match number two is a singles match. It’s a squash match, made to heavily put over the guy that they spent a while on commentary promoting, that guy being Onyx. Actually a nice match, not heavy on action and the time reflected pretty much shows the time spent reading it this time. As squash matches go, it worked magic.

Next up is a segment from Victor Jace. He faces “Hungry” Jack Swanson at their PPV, Breaking Ground for the World Title (Hey, I didn’t even have to read the next card for that, it was all contained in this segment!) and it will be a hardcore match. This did well as segments go and it flowed neatly on from the opening match.

The following segment was from Eddie Mustang, talking about his match type choice and he chose a “No Gimmicks Needed” match…basically a singles match for his match against Eric McLean. I have not much opinion of this to be honest. I neither think it was a great segment nor a bad one. It helps build the PPV though which helps.

Next match;

Dave Logan vs. Michael “Bulldog” Baker

Now FINALLY it sinks in. The recap styling…more so with this quote than anything.

Lewis: …..We’re going to pick this one up about seven minutes in, where Baker is looking to put the finishing touches on his opponent.

On the first match I didn’t catch this. This however makes sense to me now, and sure enough, all we see is the end of the match. As far as endings go, this is actually very good, I really enjoyed reading it. We see a near fall within the first paragraph, a bit of commentary, then a bit more action. This goes on for around three paragraphs before we get to the end of the match where a winner is crowned. The psychology in this little “snippet” is quite strong, you really get a feel for the types of characters involved in this match.

A segment follows this, from Matthew Montgomery. He basically gets told that he has a match at Breaking Ground because he wants to wrestle rather than working for nothing. Matthew Montgomery = classic goody goody face. I like it.

Match number 4 is upon us and it’s;

Jay Williams vs Riley Saint

We start five minutes in on this one. I’m liking that recap touch. As Riley misses his move, I like the touch of using the crowd. Crowd reaction in my opinion is an important part, if I’m there, and I think I know how the crowd is going to react, I’d like to know how the writer thinks they would too. If those thoughts merge, a good job has been done.

Also as a side note, I love the Clark character. He’s one of the announcers in this show and he’s quite funny. He’s the typical heel announcer but he’s done well. I like this from him;

 

Lewis: Williams calls his version of the Shining Wizard the Dynamite Kick. And surely it looks like it hurts like crazy.

Clark: Why do you and I always talk about wrestling?

Lewis: … Uh, because it’s what we’re paid to do?

Clark: But I want to talk more about you. What are your dreams and aspirations?

Lewis: I’m not listening to you right now..

 

That to me stands out as pretty good commentary writing. Gives info on the match but also a random tidbit into the characters behind the desk. The time is accurate on this one, 8 minutes, and the finish is nice. Quite suspenseful and high impact. Good work to the writer there.

Jay Williams continues on from this match with a short promo. In short, he offers up an open challenge with the twist of “I don’t care if it’s a demon from my past.” I’m betting my hat that it’s going to be a demon from his past and it’ll be a big shock…in a way though, I want to know who it’ll be. I want to follow on and read the pay per view now. From one segment I feel like I want to know what’s to happen…great work there. That’s what each show should do, keep the reader/viewers interested, keep them wanting to know what’ll happen next.

We come back from a bracketed commercial and it’s time for our last segment. Ray Lopes, who we’ll meet in our main event tonight, opens his cell phone and has a text from what seems to be a fan who is stalking him. We’ve all had them, right? I call mine my girlfriend…but anyway, back to the results.

This leads us into our main event.

Main Event
Ray Lopes vs. Aiden Miles

I‘m disappointed from the off on this one. We’re told we’re joining the match at 17 minutes into a 20 minute match. Yeah, I don’t expect to have it all but Main Event deserves a little more, maybe at least half the match written or something. Just a personal opinion there, but Main Event status to me feels cheapened by the fact that they’re showing less of the match than a match earlier on in the night.

For the 3 minutes we DO see though…well…it’s a great, action packed 3 minutes. A Sharpshooter gets locked in almost as it starts, a reversal ensues, then a clothesline gets ducked before a fluid Death Valley Driver gets hit. This for me is the sort of stuff that would have me going “WOAH” at the TV, late at night while I just so happen to be watching the A&E Network.

On a side note, I like capital letters. I use them to emphasise a lot and well…this place uses them too. All in the right places, makes me actually feel…immersed.

In the end, it comes down to a roll-up the A&E logo pops up again…showing us what network we’re on – again.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading EPIC’s Chaos 6 show. It didn’t feel like it overly dragged and it felt…well like it worked. It meshed and felt well written, despite the couple of small issues I had, namely with naming everything and crediting everything as it went through. I feel, easily, like this fed could benefit by dropping those out of the shows entirely and crediting after. Especially if it’s just staff writing them, after all, that feels like they want their backs patted for a job well done, a little too much.

Overall though, a great read. The results to Epic’s show can be found here: http://thisisepic.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=results&action=display&thread=165&page=1

Score

4 out of 5 stars

Welcome to eFedReviews!

So here we are.

The opening post of eFedreviews@wordpress…and I suppose it would be a pretty good idea to open with the reasoning behind this and who I am, to judge your results and give you a score.

First up, this is efedreviews. As you can probably tell, it’s to be a collection of reviews about shows put up by efeds.

Efeds, in case you’re not familiar, are fictional wrestling companies based out of text roleplaying. The general rule of thumb is that an efed is a forum, ran by one or two people, named “fedheads” and this forum is participated in by a collective called “the roster” or “efedders” who roleplay once or twice per week in a hope to outshine their opponents.

Once a week, or two weeks, that efed will have a show, where results will be posted in full and once a month or two months (sometimes longer), a PPV occurs. This is made to simulate the bigger shows that real life companies put on once a month and they’re the “big money” shows that efeds work towards.

In this blog, I will be reviewing a good mixture of PPV and weekly shows.

The format will be pretty obvious and will look like this;

Name of efed:
Type of fed: (Backyard/Independent/Regional/National/Global)
Name of results:
Date of show:
Show Type:(Normal or PPV, with normal being a run-up show)
Review:
Score:

Scores will be posted with a view of a 5 star rating based on :
• Entertainment value (which Is why we are here, why we would be watching it if it were on television or why we would stick around if we were there live)
• How close it sticks to its model or type of show
• How fair the results are in comparison to the roleplays posted (fairness)
• And presentation – how well the show is presented as a scripted show, whether live or television.

It should be noted that all reviews are subjective and are the opinion of the writer only. They are not the be and all judgement and they should only be taken into account for use of constructive criticism. I will never pull apart a set of results as a former fedhead, I know how much work goes into compiling these results.

I, myself have been roleplaying and fedheading within efeds for the past eight years. I have a lot of experience and have been in over ten feds in total, running four of them. I have worked with some of the best in the game today and I believe that this would qualify me to be able to write reviews.

The best way to view this blog is free publicity as I will heavily promote it on efed resource sites such as Roughkut, Kapow and CWC. There will be no bias involved, I will review completely impartially regardless of who is in the fed I am reviewing or regardless of who runs it. This is designed to be a constructive criticism, friendly and impartial look at results such as how fedheads look at roleplays on a weekly basis.

I will enable comments on every post.

Thank you for reading this, I hope you’ll join me for my first review.